The volunteers from the Liberty Landmark Church were wholly enthusiastic: men, women and children alike. In a moving sermon their reverend had warned of the nation's lack of intelligence from inside the Islamic terrorist infrastructure. In order to expose the inhuman nature of the enemy the Homeland front needed eyes and ears in the Mosques, in El Quaida caves, on Saudi Arabian street corners. The reverend urged his parishioners to come forward and commit themselves to help. These were the ones who had answered the call. To be successful, they must become inhuman themselves. It had been a gruelling indoctrination, but they finally absorbed the primitive ideology and would now be subjected to a surprise quiz to certify their authenticity. The Homeland Security Grand Inquisitor General posed the questions randomly and directly, indicating with his usually accusing but now somewhat friendlier finger the person who should answer:

"You sir, should young, unmarried women have sex before marriage?"

"Unmarried women of any age must remain pure or they are dirty and worthless in the eyes of Allah."

"Good answer!" He pointed again to someone else, "What about feminism?"

"Allah does not want women to be feminists. The man must be the head of the household. Women must stay in the home and bear children for the glory of Islam."

"Perfect. And what about unbelievers?"

"Those who do not believe the true word of Allah are beneath our respect. We must unite and defeat them in any way possible."

"Excellent. One more," he said, pointing again, "What do you think of homosexuals?"

"They have sinned willfully and abominably in the eyes of Allah. They will burn in Hell."

"Brilliant!" declared the inquisitor after his random inspection, "I think I've heard enough. No one would ever suspect that you were Christians."

Story #65