Tuesday, November 16, 2004

"I'm warning you, don't order anything on this menu," the strange woman said. She sat down uninvited at their table, waving a cigarette in their faces. Then she continued, "People order from this menu, the food they get ain't normal. There's something in it. You wake up someplace else and never find out where. It happened to a friend of mine. She sent me a post card later saying, 'Help! I don't know where I am.' And get this," she lowered her voice to a whisper: "Someone had dripped grease all over the postmark. You couldn't read it!" The couple fidgeted nervously as the woman continued, "But that ain't the only time something like this happen. I started watching the place. A whole busload of tourists ate here once. And never came out! Good for me. I had dibs on their luggage. But not good for them. By the way, is that your Porsche parked outside?" All of a sudden she began to choke. Then a dazed look crossed her face. "Where am I? What was I telling you? Look, forget anything I said. I have these spells sometimes where I don't know what I'm saying. The food here is just fine. I'd take the steak if I was you. It's out of this world."

Story #80

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