Thursday, November 11, 2004
The three girls had never been with a man before in the biblical sense, but very often in the sense of the Harlequin romance, that is to say, had imaginations certainly as depraved as anything they might encounter beyond the theoretical. So it was not surprising that they accepted Satan's intriguing offer to tease one of his victims with their unapproachable purity. First they talked to the man about all the things they would never do with him. Anytime he became excited they laughed and gesticulated with such demeanor as to transform his urges into a feeling like cold, wet spaghetti. If he tried to touch one of them, the nearest other girl rapped his knuckles sharply with the handle of her pitchfork while the remaining girl fired a Satanic blend of pepper spray that burned like brimstone. Innocent virgins could certainly be cruel. Finally they improvised a raucous bra dance for him, singing and jiggling in bras that could not be pierced by the naked eye. This accelerated him past the breaking point. He collapsed to the floor, whimpering at his bitter fate. The girls had done their job well. The entertainment the man received could only be classified as PG-13, which was kind of ironic since he had signed the contract, in blood, with an X.
Story #75
Note from Indeterminacy:
This is part two of a trilogy. Part one here. Part three here.
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6 comments:
And they all got their shorts from Satan's Athletic Supply on sale... and the Kevlar bras came in a three-pack, which was fortuitous since they all wore the same size of bustacle armor.
My exfiancee was a big believer in the 'Harlequin romance' sense of sex... she said that in junior high she read those paperbacks and honestly believed men came in the ten-inch variety. Not only did she learn in due time that the books were false, but she couldn't handle such things if it were. This story has illuminated something for me which I only suspected: I now know where my urges come from, and why the people I think will fulfill them do not. As Flip Wilson's 'Geraldine' always said to the Reverend: the Devil made me do it!
They do come in the ten inch variety - I have one in my mouth right now . . .
And reading a Harlequin romance at the same time!?!?
Some people play with dolls, some people have them lodged in their esophagus. That's the only kind of "ten-inch man" that exists in the real world, or in your mouth.
But back to the girls in the Kevlar bras, please.
BTW Tiffany, I linked to your site because I found it interesting, and thought that after I drove people nuts you could help console them. Not because I expected a link in return. Though it is very nice of you to make the offer. Thank you.
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