Wednesday, May 04, 2005

One night the alien came to impregnate Brian with its seed. The results were apparent a few months later as Brian's belly began to swell. His culinary urges took a radical turn. One night he might eat mounds and mounds of lady fingers, another night he'd swallow down plate after plate of sushi. He wouldn't touch pizza or beer. It made him nauseous. At sudden instances in public he began to cry for no reason. And he had been such a macho guy before! People stared at him oddly, remarking later, when he was out of earshot, how that spare tire of his would fit an 18 wheeler. Finally the big day came. He moaned and jerked spasmodically on his mattress. When it was all finished they filled a box with the collective offspring. They looked just like Barbie dolls, petite plasticine figures. They didn't even seem like they were alive. Wanting to put the entire incident behind him, Brian gave away the neo-Barbies to the neighborhood children. The dolls lay in secret with real Barbie dolls and several years later the resulting horde rose up and moved to Hollywood.

Story #210

Note: This story is dedicated to Weirsdo of The Pansi Files, just like that.


Tina D. said...

Your stories remind me on what Kurt Vonagut would blog.

Indeterminacy said...

Hi Tina and thanks for the very kind words. I loved your post about the 666. Will you be doing a ten commandments with all the typos corrected?

Z said...

That was great, if not a little bit creepy. It's put me off my kids barbie dolls. I shan't be able to look at them in the same light again. I just hope that they don't up and move to Hollywood, the kids would be devestated.

The Mushroom said...

There are already enough bendable plastic people in Hollywood, so what would a few more hurt?

All I can say as I look at that picture is: "man, I remember her, what was I thinking? oh yeah, I obviously wasn't... or not with the head on my shoulders anyway." But sex is like pizza, me hardies -- when it's good, it's great, and when it's bad, it's still pretty good.

Jamie Dawn said...

Nicole Kidman has had some very obvious plastic surgery lately, and I think she's looking more and more like the Barbie aliens. I think the goal in Hollywood is to look as plastic as possible lest an abominable wrinkle be seen. All these plastic people on TV and in movies is the plan of these aliens because it's causing the average person to seek plastic surgery. They are brainwashing us into accepting that their look is normal and should be strived for. The new craze for plastic surgery is all a part of that plan. So when the aliens invade, no one will be able to spot who's an alien and who isn't.

Mushroom's comments made me think about whether or not I've ever had a bad pizza. Even the cheap, flat frozen ones aren't bad. I've even had Chucky Cheese's pizza which may be the worst on earth; and I managed to eat three pieces.

LiVEwiRe said...

So THAT explains the Miss America pagent... The creepiest part is all those little offspring lying in wait. That's it... I'm not sleeping tonight.

M.P. said...

Great achievement! The first male human being was eventually pregnant! ;O ...LOL

Courtney said...

So that's were Paris Hilton came from

The Mushroom said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Mushroom said...

MP: ...not counting Billy Crystal in "Rabbit Test" then Arnold Schwartzenegger in "Junior" sixteen years later (breeding age?), which means that the next 'guy gets knocked up' movie will be 2010 -- unless Hollywood decides it's time to remake yet another already-done-fine film/TV show. (Burt Reynolds will be playing Boss Hogg? But how??)

I have this vision of those plastic aliens coming out gnashing, like the robot children facing Jane Fonda in "Barbarella". Maybe they can be pointed at director, producers, and script writers. (muttering what the zombies often do in films... "brains! brains!")

Jamie: Like I said -- even when it's horribly bad, it's still good enough to eat in a pinch. Though I'd rather eat Chuck E Cheese "cardboard with mushrooms and pepproni drawn on it" [The Frantics] than something I have to take out of a thin box, remove from shrinkwrap, and heat until the pretend cheese is brown and meat squares are glowing.

Courtney: Bingo!

Anonymous said...

So true. Thank you. I'm honored.
That thing looks as if it should have produced little Venus de Milos.

Indeterminacy said...

Turboslut: You better not watch that Twilight Zone episode called "The Living Doll". You'll want to burn all the Barbies, except it wouldn't do any good, because they'd come back.

Mushroom: Somehow I lived a sheltered life. I don't think I ever ate pizza until after I was out of college. Guess that should go in one of these "100 things about me" lists.

Jamie: I have a plastic surgery story you might like:
Story #27. I've heard of Nicole Kidman but I don't know if I ever saw her before. One of the fringe benefits of living in my own strange European tangent.

Livewire: I didn't mean to scare anybody. Unless you live in Hollywood, you're probably safe.

M.P.: I'm sure gen-technique will come up with the reality at some point.

Courtney: I don't even know who Paris Hilton is. Anothing thing for the list.

Mushroom: I know about those movies but I never saw them! (You people are going to start wondering what the hell I _do_ know about.)

Weirsdo: Finally, a name I've heard of! Pulling the arms off of Barbie dolls sounds like a fun thing to do.

Hobbes said...

I think your a troll. Not the kind I want to help, either.

Indeterminacy said...

Help! The Barbies are beating me up!

Z said...

Oh my gog, freak me out why don't you :)

Michael said...

you need to stop before you hurt someone lol

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go to and register. The only e-mail you get is an activation e-mail. You will also need a Paypal account, but again only an activation e-mail. You get paid 2 cents a search plus 2 cents for every search a person who has refered you makes. Tell them 128189 sent you.

alix said...

you don't know nicole "i'm skinnier than a" kidman? or paris hilton?!
how blessed can one person BE?! LOL

my heartfelt condolences on your cousin. ((hugs))