Thursday, May 26, 2005


There had been no room for them in the painting so the leftover models had all been collected and placed at its base. The real problem was where to put them up for the night. At the museum's closing time they all trekked up flights of Art Deco stairs to the attic where rock hard cots had been placed, imitation Bauhaus, the best the museum could do on their budget. During the day, meals were brought to them, but it became a nuisance, with visitors talking to the objects while they ate, as well as begging for the odd bite, and leaving crumbs. Soon, museum guests began crashing the modern artwork, mingling in with the small group before the canvas. The cozy club grew gradually into an unwieldy mob. They began fighting over the pieces of bread the curator brought them. Art critics who dared criticize the technique or the rendering of the creation were browbeaten to ribbons by the volatile group of seated impressionists. Some were even physically mishandled. It wasn't long before the overcrowded conglomerate became irritable and aggressive all the time. Eventually, the painting's meaning shifted. The religious symbolism weakened. The work became a treatise for man's inhumanity towards man. One day the painting was stolen, people and all. A graffiti-covered school bus was seen leaving the scene of the crime. No one bothered calling the police.

Story #226

6 comments:

Jamie Dawn said...

That was very creative. I like the thought of them fighting over food and assaulting onlookers. What a riot!
Art can certainly go overboard sometimes, and your story took it to a mockingly funny extreme.
I know some in the art world think that all art should be appreciated, but I have seen some real crap on display.
To each his own.

The Mushroom said...

The photographer had originally worked in movies. When you can't get enough people into a mob shot, you use a matte painting to fill space. Later he'd Photoshop the rest of the room out and use the Copy Stamp tool and submit to a weekly news magazine.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

That's very descriptive. I could see all this happening in my mind's eye -- except I couldn't figure out what kind of bread those crumbs were made of. Perhaps it's not important.

weirsdo said...

I liked this one a lot. It was funny and fresh, with lots of energy (and detail).

Pansi wants to know about the pictures you mentioned on Dogs' Daze. If they involve her and a certain Cave Troll, she says maybe she can do a deal with you.

Indeterminacy said...

Weirsdo: I'm willing to be nice about this, if Pansi will do something for me. I mean, these pictures are awful, disgusting stuff. They depict Barbies seducing and corrupting underaged boys and girls, something I'm sure the authorities would be extremely interested in. I mean, there are international laws about this type of thing.

Anyhow, there's this girl I've had my eye on, and she's so damned hot. If Pansi can arrange for me to meet her, I'll forget about posting today's very unflattering story and post something different instead. Tell her to get me a date with Betty Boop.

Bambi said...

Mr. Indecency:
President Pete wishes me to infirm you that you are a evildoer and an enemy of the state.
Even if you were not, Miss Boop has been retired since 1939, and if you were any respector of age diffrences you would understand how unseamly you're request is, in any case the terms of PANSI's contract expressly forbid any business dealings involving rival intertainmant figures.
Even if the pictures to wich you alude proove to be genuine, which I doubt, Naked Gymnastics for JESUS is not responsible for the behavior of Barbies who are not cast members.
Do you're worst!
Sincerely, Bambi