Thursday, August 04, 2005


Suzanne was lying in her bathtub when they came, the alien soap beings from outer space. They smashed through the front door with tremendous force, those beings of solid, rock-hard, sun-baked soap. She put on a towel, while running out to see what had happened, saw them spreading out through the entire house. Stationed at windows. Blocking the doors. There was no way to get past them. Though small, the rectangular cakes of lye were a formidable group in centurial magnitude. "We take your planet house by house," they told her as they closed in, forcing her back into the bathroom. "This is house one," she heard continued. They rushed her, but she was able to slam and bolt the door in time. It held for as long as a bubble in a grease vat. With a collective whomp they splintered a hole through the door and in they streamed. She backed away until finally she was in the bathtub again, in a daze as they filled the room. When she looked out, the tub was surrounded by the ivory-white animate objects, cold, soapy countenances staring at her: "So this is human being," they said, "so this is girl." Initially the smooth marble sides of the tub seemed unscalable to them, but they swarmed and forced some of their number higher until their lathery mouths became visible over the rim. The first ones up pulled with them a towel for the rest to climb. Suzanne tensed. One by one they plopped into the water, were on her, trying to subdue her. She felt the slippery things touching her skin, all over her, sliding around in wild circles. It felt good, though she knew this might well be her last feeling. The soap beings reacted swiftly with the water. Suds formed, more and more, covering her. It felt so relaxing. Was this how one succumbed to them, as to a sweet poison bearing a final, pleasant sleep without dreams? She closed her eyes, brought her hands to her side and waited for the end. As the last bar of soap had completely dissolved, a still solitude prevailed. Suzanne was as surprised as the soap creatures must have been, considering they came from a planet with six suns and absolutely no water.

Story #261

I have no choice but to dedicate this to Little Bar of Soap.

17 comments:

Doug said...

I tried to explain all this to my mother as a boy. Maybe now she'll listen.

Indeterminacy said...

What were you trying to explain? An alien soap invasion or a girl?

Clublint said...

Hey I liked that story. A shortened version of war of the worlds where humans prevail and aliens STILL can't get it right when planning an invasion.

Deb

Indeterminacy said...

Yes, that's exactly what it was! ;-)

Noctem said...

Who's the girl?
Where does she live?
What's her number?
Her email?

When can I meet her?

PS. Liked the story too!
The girl is just too distracting!

Jamie Dawn said...

A warm bubble bath is pure heaven.
Those aliens unknowingly became human body wash.
I hope they were freshly scented.

The Mushroom said...

Good clean fun! And she protected the world from invasion again...

Indeterminacy said...

Noctem: There are the things that I'd like to know, too. Maybe somebody out there will recognize her and post her e-mail & phone number for us... PLEASE!

Jamie: You cracked me up with that comment. I hope she doesn't smell like stale meteors now.

Mush: Speaking of clean fun, I wonder what's become of Little Bar of Soap? Do you think there might have been a rapture and she was the only one taken? She hasn't blogged since Tuesday!

fluff said...

great story! so none of the alien soap creatures survived to get back to their own planet and let the rest know that they'd found what could make their lifes complete? er... short AND complete.

Indeterminacy said...

Ariel: That sweet girl is the savior of mankind! (In more ways then one).

Everyone: Today's story will be late. Please check back around 6 PM EST.

fine words ... said...

terrific. plus where'd you even find that bizarro picture?

Minerva said...

Really liked the way you wrote this.. Definite insidious horror...yummy...
Minerva

A Little Bar of Soap said...

VILE FILTH! DEVIL, GET THEE OUT!

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I call the film rights.

Ash Sere said...

Now now, it's hardly fair to do battle of the blogs with a hot girl as your first post... You leave us no choice. Sweet story too (as in dude, sweet! rather than ah, sweet!).

Indeterminacy said...

Fine Words: Thanks. You'd be surprised what all you can find in the Internet.

Minerva: I've seen your blog and want to look around there some more this weekend. I found myself repeatedly voting for you.

Little Bar of Soap: You're still with us! And I thought the rapture had swept you from our midst.

Alice: The film rights are yours. When will it be ready? Seriously, I've wondered how some of these mini-stories would look if they could be filmed. This one would be cool, especially the part where she gets out of the bath tub. Can I be present as an consultant to the director?

Ash Sere: I usually just put up the challenge and let the other guy decide to take it. I did challenge that Greek blogger lady and she won! Then again, Greek beauty is hard to beat.

Indeterminacy said...

Stand by! Friday's story is coming up soon... My literary scientist muse is checking it for quality. ;-)