Tuesday, August 23, 2005


Sonja was a sensitive girl. She hosted sensations of hate in her body for the man who'd seduced her with vodka and pills, taking her finally against her will in the moment when her defenses succumbed to the potent embrace of the chemicals. Each movement of his was a soul-rupturing death she felt acutely with astral awareness, though her physical faculties would not permit her to move. In the midst of her martyrdom she planned each motion of her revenge, a choreography of purposeful movement in a rigid rhythm of time. He must feel the vitiating deaths that he had lavished upon her. There must be reciprocity...

She knocked on his door. He answered. The cold metal of the weapon and the frigid stare of her eyes forced him back as she entered and pressed him by sheer will onto the couch where it had happened. She allowed him some moments of fear, waited for beads of sweat to form, waited for him to tremble and whimper for his life. And then she ended his existence. The first shot emasculated him. The second scrambled his brain into an ugly stew. It always took less than five minutes, as her internal clock perceived. Finally, with the power of her sensitivity, she threw herself back in time ten minutes previous, to appear at his door again, and repeat what from her perspective had just happened. She had counted each of her deaths, and would return them to him in equal proportion.

Story #270

Note from Indeterminacy: A big thank you to the strange and beautiful Argimpasa, for kind permission to use her photo.

16 comments:

Argimpasa said...

Bang bang, my baby shot me down... eheheh
a lovely vendetta story. :-)

Indeterminacy said...

Thanks for your blessing!

Doug said...

Very bold, Indie. This will be an interesting year.

Argimpasa, I really like the running buckeye leaf.

that.man said...

Revenge is sweet...I like revenge! Go argimpasa!

Helen said...

Not enough people swing by here to tell you how extremely talented you are!
Peace.............

Michael said...

Love the photo and your story.

Take Care
Michael

K'vitsh said...

That was stunning. Thanks.

Tom & Icy said...

Kill Bill Vol. 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10... infinity

M.P. said...

This is an intriguing story! And sadistic too... You are a great story writer!! :)

M.P. said...

This is an intriguing story! And sadistic too... You are a great story writer!! :)

AP3 said...

I'm with Tom! This immediately made me think of Uma and Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction and such.

Jamie Dawn said...

You're starting off year two with a bang! She carried out that first shot with skilled precision and relished it I'm sure. I'm sure any women who've experienced rape have dreamed of doing the same. Just based on the pic, I wouldn't want to be on that lady's bad side.

Elli said...

Nice job of putting yourself in a woman's mind! Not all male writers manage to do that ;-)

Indeterminacy said...

DOug: Whatever it is, don't expect me to keep it up for a year. I'll try though, and thanks for thinking I might write something interesting.

That.man: Argimpasa goes great!

Helen: Someone should organize a flash mob to stop by here and tell me how great I am. ;-)

Michael: Thanks a million. Glad you could use one of the photos I sent you for your Friday stories.

K'vitsh: I like stories that stun, so I'm glad I managed to write one.

Tom&Icy: I never saw or heard of "Kill Bill". I hope this wasn't too similar.

M.P.: I think this is one of the more brutal stories, although there have been a couple of castratory vignettes up to now ;-)

AP3: I haven't seen "Pulp Fiction" yet either. Living in Europe, where movies / TV is less violent, I've sort of lost the taste for these shootings.

Jamie: I will never in my life cross Argimpasa.

Elli: Thanks. Cori commented once that she thought I must be a woman, because I "knew" all their secrets. Maybe I am a lesbian in a man's body.

viruswitch said...

Quite captivating, I read it in a breaths time.

Rhoda IV said...

Incredible interpretation, it made me think 'Good for her.'.