Saturday, May 21, 2005
The cave girls shared a happy-hug. They'd located the late professor's secret credit card, the one from the 25th century, with a 3 billion dollar credit limit. He'd been kind enough to drop it out of his pocket before they sent him back to feed their cat. Now they could do all the hunting and gathering their prehistoric hearts desired. It didn't take them long to discover the online shopping with its innovative one-click gathering and same-day shipping. They ordered a thesaurus, just to see what it was, but it couldn't lick them. They ordered phallically shaped lava lamps, sweet rock candy, tiger skin bikinis and a set of psychedelic paints and brushes. But it was all just ersatz. They spent sleepless nighttime sessions pining and painting modern art murals on the lab walls, reflecting what was on their mind most: boys. During a typical session of cat feeding the girls suddenly gave each other another hug of delight. Their million year old dream had come true. The boy they'd sent Mesozoic survived the test of manhood, hog-tying the cat with a loose vine, and beating his chest triumphantly. The girls finally had their new pet. They pressed the button to bring him back.
Story #223
Note from Indeterminacy: This is part two of a two part set. Part one is here.
Special thanks to Becca for donating her photo. Also, thanks for all the story contributions, which will be reposted at indeterminacies.blogspot.com shortly.
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14 comments:
Lola and Alol were twins. But, more than twins since they were both born on the same body. They did have problems growing up, but as their mother always said "two heads are better than one".
They appeared to most to be some kind of two headed freak and it was very hard for them to get boyfriends. If one had a boyfriend the other was always sneaking in kisses and such which always ended up in jealosy.
As time went on they found that they did love each other more than anyone else. Soon the inevitable happened they decided to get married. You see them here giving eachother a hug on their wedding day. How proud their mother was as they walked down the isle, two heads on one body, but two spirits and two souls. And what did they care what people think. After all they had saved a bundle on the wedding attire and the band just loved them during the bridal dance.
Garna and Graw became more and more adept at their newfound skill. In fact they invented many applications that no one ever found out about because the girls rarely left their screen. One of their best was interactive photoshop.
Their first foray into this was not entirely successful. They had found the website of a wrestler who reminded them of Blarp, their boyfriend back in the cave, and they were able to project his image in three dimensions out of the screen, but he wasn't animated. He just lay there stunned.
With practice they improved, however. One day they were able to graft both their heads onto a composite of both their bodies, then project this back out from the screen onto their chair, replacing themselves with a 3-D version of their new, conjoined image. The girls giggled with delight.
They continued to laugh even when they felt the huge arm closing around their shoulders. They knew Blarp always began his advances that way. Next they would be clubbed on the head, dragged away by their hair, and then . . . the fun would begin.
I didn't think it would work...
That's alien technology for you. The most amazing thing is - although we seem to be sharing control of the body -
Do you mind if I scratch our leg?
Go ahead - we seem to have retained our individual thoughts. Each of our heads...
That's true for me too. Mind you, I'm not sure I like our new body. It's so big. Over ten metres high. And I'm not sure I like having three arms.
Maybe so - but you don't want to look like a freak do you?
The girls started advertising for fat guys. Yep, the fatter, the better.
Their online video ad said, "We're little girls looking for some BIG action. We're not into skinny guys, so don't even think about responding. We want guys that put Sumo wrestlers to shame. We cook, you eat, then let's play!"
Well, you can imagine the massive response they got. Needless to say, their cat didn't go hungry.
There were only two replies to #182, so it seems the sequel did better than the original feature. I still have nothing for this pair though.
These stories are all so great. You all went and got surrealistic and brilliant on me, and my story is pale in comparison. I didn't see that at all with the two headed cave shrew. Wish I had. I'm glad someone did a story with the hands belonging to someone other than the gals. In all, the stories balance quite well.
Well, I have no choice but to post my lame attempt and move on...
I enjoyed your story, Indeterminacy, especially the list. Speaking of Kafka, it reminded me of the NEW YORKER cartoon where Gregor Samsa discovered the Home Shopping Network.
Awesome blog. :)
Weirsdo: Again you're too kind with me. I didn't know about that cartoon. I'll look for it.
Twistednoggin: Your blog doesn't look too bad, either. Despite the fact that my links section is becoming unmanageable and needs reorganizing I'll take the liberty of linking to you.
Good luck. It's ancient. I haven't read the New Yorker since the early 90's, when it stopped being the magazine I grew up with.
Yes... Y-e-s... Y-E-S! This is so brilliant. The primeval feminine spirit that triumphs in any era. Technology is a mere bagatelle to extend our seductive conquests. Personally, I hunt cute guys for my own use, but our pet pussies do require more than a lick and a promise in our eat or be eaten world, ne?
Thank you Pearl_Dragon. It's kind of you to give me such friendly feedback. It makes me glad to know my story touched a (pleasurable) nerve.
Thanks. :) I appreciate the link. I've got a long mental list of links to add to mine, but I just keep getting sidetracked.
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