Tuesday, August 31, 2004


The miracle at the Santa de Maria McDonald's was declared by the Pope to be bonafide, elevating the three good Catholic girls who witnessed the wonder to popular sainthood. Soon thousands upon thousands of the faithful began their pilgrimage to the fast food restaurant. Millions of hamburgers were sold and the waiting time kept under five minutes. It was said that the mere anointment with a drink purchased at the McDonalds could heal obesity and restore the use of limbs. Everyone was hoping for a repetition of the original divine occurrence, but no matter how many Cokes were ordered, none of them ever again turned into Pepsi.

Story #19

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, dear, that's strange (OO)
K.

DisSenter said...

I thought the story went more along the lines of...

...Having failed to reproduce the obvious miracle, and being awestruck at the beauty of his new concubines, ahem, prodigies, the Pope couldn't summon the will to restrain himself and thus invited them for a short sojourn to Rome, Italy, to, erm...pray. The sirens were in immediate reverence by the clergy and other official members of the Catholic Church, claiming that Mary herself was thrice found amidst the luminous angels that stood before them. In honour of the sirens' miraculous witnessing, the Pope moved them to his private quarters along with superior members of the clergy, and proceeded to have a celebratory mass. But this was no ordinary mass.

Sequestering the sirines and incapacitating them with chloroform, the Pope and his clergymen arranged for the cameras to began filming. What followed could only be regarded as, undoubtedly, a sex romp. Cocaine, marajuana and alcohol were enjoyed with rapturous pleasure as the pure intermediatery for God and his officals desanctified their positions.

Later in the evening when the girls awoke in the parlour of horrors, confused and dishevelled and decided to enact revenge upon the unholy clergymen. To their astonishment, Satan himself apeared before them and beckoned then with a far sweeter method of retribution...

But this is another tale to be told at another time...until such a time, Adew.


DisSenter

Indeterminacy said...

Thanks for posting such a long continuation/alternative. By no means are my stories the last word on these photos. It would be cool to have a writing class in which the whole class writes a short story to a photo and then compare the stories afterwards to see how different or similar they are.

ReaZ said...

I have to say that ever since Robyn showed me this site I've found it rather interesting. You have an interesting way of looking at normal pictures and creating a whole new story about them. Keep up the good work.

Indeterminacy said...

Thanks for those kind words! It's hard to know how these stories come across. I can give you a good tip for unusual stories where you never know how it's going to come out, because the ideas are so unusual. These are radio plays in the series called "Quiet Please", from the late 1940's. It's little known, but the stories are all masterpieces. You can download mp3s from www.quietplease.org. "The Thing on the Fourble Board" and "Whence You Came" are the acknowledge classics. For my tastes, they're all masterpieces.

Indeterminacy said...

Just a footnote. The version of the story I posted was not actually the original. In the train on the way home I wrote down my first idea. But I didn't think it was good enough to post. Fortunately I had a new idea that I was more satisfied with. Here's the first version just for the record:

It was the strangest thing in the world to happen. They ordered Cokes at the fast food restaurant but received Pepsis. The girls complained to the manager, and when they received no satisfaction notified the Board of Health. The drinks were analyzed and declared indeed to be Pepsi, although it could not be explained how it got into the Coke tanks. Meanwhile all over the world reports of Coke spontaneously transforming into Pepsi were rampant. It was never explained what was going on. The three girls who discovered the strange event posed for a newspaper photographer, with three orders of Dr. Pepper.

Anonymous said...

Cool story.
The alternative story by the first anonymous poster was not quite as much. What if the people whose photos are put up here came discovered the site and read the stories about them? I don't think any of them would be offended with Indeterminancy's stories, but THAT story is ... another story.

Now, this is kind of addictive, and I would like to have a go myself (without the skill of Indeterminancy of course)

-------------------
I don't know quite what I did. Perhaps the Manager was insulted by my strange clothes, or the way I changed my mind half way through my order. It may have been when I refilled my bottomless coffee cup for the 14th time, and spilt it onto the floor that had just been mopped up for the 13th. It may have been been my weeping and shrieking when the frying of the patties took FOREVER. I don't know. But here I am, with the manager laughing behind me, and an endless procession of customers in front of me, leering in my face, laughing "Oh, are you ok there, PORKY BOY?! mmm, this tastes good!"
Oh, how I wish someone would let me out of these stocks! I want to know what everyone is gathering behind me for.

Indeterminacy said...

Thanks for your version - I DID like it. It certainly captures the mood of working in a fast food sweatshop.

Also, I think these three girls would be thrilled to know how inspiring they are.