Friday, April 15, 2005
The cult of Fé was considered odd. Its members wandered around like zombies echoing "Fé Fé Fé..." to anyone who would listen. But that was in the religion's beginnings. After their spiritual leader Fang Fu ascended into the promised land of Foy, various splinter movements of the main belief were formed. One group with an almost fairytale like spirituality wandered the countryside declaring "Fee-Fie-Foe-Fum" while planting beans. Another, more musical group, called itself the Fa faction and caroled from door to door repeating "Do-Re-Me-Fa" in a sing-songy voice adhering to some kind of new four-tone system. An alternative Fa movement sprang up singing "Fa-La-La La-La" but the two did not get along, as they sang in different keys. The remaining members formed a swing revival band, gaining reknown for their rendition of "Flat Foot Floogee with a Floy Floy." Then came Fifi. She wasn't like those boring old gurus with long, white beards who traditionally led cults. Fifi looked nice, and she bathed. Under her beauty the splinter factions unified into one. Now they strolled happily around town, chanting "Fifi Fifi Fifi..." ad infinitum, followed by an eager pack of female dogs, who must have thought it was about them.