Wednesday, February 13, 2008


John heard a legend about the Valentine's Day hitchhikers - two sexy lady-girls just turned 18 who appeared once a year, on a road out of Clay County, in a wild zone of Kentucky. John screeched his car to halt when he saw them posing at the roadside.

One had auburn hair, tanned limbs and a one-piece blue-splotched dress, modernly abstract, ending tangibly above the knees. The other was blond, hair braided in a ring crowning her head, like an unofficial princess. She looked tasty in the two pieces she wore, one black and daringly high, the other pink and daringly low. The girls had curves like zig zags never existed.

"We just turned 18," Auburn stated with a no-nonsense look at John.

"And we're going to our birthday party," her blond friend continued. "Would you like to take us?"

"Sure ladies," John said, "hop in."

They took the back seat for themselves, dangling and bending legs so that knees reflected in the rear view mirror. John was euphoric to have two such sweetnesses in his car. He turned the wheel, and pulled back onto the road.

"Where is the party?" John asked.

"I don't know," Auburn said.

"Neither do I" said Blondness.

"This is quite a dilemma!" John replied, hoping they had a fun solution.

"We'll just have to find it, won't we?" Auburn imposed.

"And don't be late!" said Blondness.

John drove and drove, unable to concentrate on the road. All his thoughts were with the female population of his car. He took turns, drove up slopes, drove down slopes and took more turns. He had no idea where they were.

"Do you have any idea where we are?" asked Blondness.

"Are we getting close to the party?" Auburn wondered.

"Nothing to worry about ladies - it's still Kentucky," was all he could think to say.

More driving. Every time he peeked into the mirror to glimpse his guests he saw their eyes studying straight into him, and the kind of mischievous smiles that any moment might spill into giggles.

"We're getting tired," ahhhed Auburn.

"Yes, take us to a bed," suggested Blondness, just as the car shot by a sign for the Lonely Hearts Hotel, 5 miles ahead.

In a few minutes, they were there. John checked them in quickly. There was no trouble. They entered a room with a table, a TV and one wide bed.

"Wow! There's room for five of us on that bed," Blondness noted.

"Yeah, too bad there aren't five of us," Auburn added.

John was weak with excitement. He sat on the edge of the bed, smiled 15 smiles at once, and gestured them to join him. Auburn and Blondness smiled steadily back at him, then approached.

"Close your eyes," Auburn requested with a wink.

"Yes, we want to surprise you," added Blondness.

"Whatever you ladies desire," John said, as he shut his eyes and covered them with one hand while propping himself on the bed with the other. He waited, heart beating like the drums in "Sing Sing Sing." He sensed a tender touch on his lap, then another. Hands sneaking into pockets. His mind felt like it was spinning in place. He waited. And waited. Not a sound. Not a breath. Finally he had to open his eyes. Because nothing else happened. He looked around. The girls were gone, but in each of his pockets he discovered a candy. He squeezed them out of the wrappers and into his mouth. Tongue playing over both candies at once, he tasted a mingling of honey and cola.

Story #417

Previous Valentine's Day stories:
Story #160 (2005)
Story #334 (2006)

And here is a news flash from Creative Crabbing:

Story Contest Canceled
by Kizz Myass
for The Crappy Times

The Great Valentine's Story Contest (see post below) has been canceled due to fear of the wrath of Brittney and/or lack of interest. You're still welcome to submit a story if you wish but there is no longer any competitive factor. Yam Man would be proud!
Kizz Myass

If you're feeling playful, why not go over and make Brittney change her mind! There are some cool stories posted there already.

24 comments:

Indeterminacy said...

Ha! I finished my story. So no danger of it being weeks and weeks until I post it.

ian in hamburg said...

Indie, where do you find all your lovelies? ;-)

So where can we find your story, or is it staring at me somewhere on this page?

Indeterminacy said...

That's a trade secret Ian.

I'll post the story tomorrow. Just in case anyone remembers Indeterminacy still exists and stops by to post their own tale. Also, it never hurts to do some polishing.

Doug said...

"Wait! I haven't finished digging the trap"

{illyria} said...

i missed you, and this place. i've run out of words for the moment but i'd love to read yours.

master mistery said...

I wrote this story with the previously posted photo in mind, but was too late. It still works, though not as well, with the new photo. Anyway, here goes:

ALL ALONE ON THE FACE OF THE LAND

One by one my people have been picked off, until only I remain, the last of my kind, all alone on the face of the Land.

We have been brutally squeezed. Poisoned. Decapitated. And now I am the only one left on the face of the Land.

All of us, deliberately removed, terminated, eradicated from the face of the Land...

“Hurry up, willya! We’re gonna be late,” comes a youthful voice floating through the open window of the bathroom. Inside the bathroom, a teenage girl stands in front of a mirror. The impatient voice belongs to her boyfriend.

“Yes, yes! I’m coming! Just doing my face,” shouts Jenny Land, while she continues dabbing her face with the powerful astringent claimed by its makers to be the most effective pimple treatment on the market.


Hope you like it.

Steve Schwarz

PS I've posted the story to my new blog cosmic rapture which is dina neat if I say so myself, so why not pay me a visit and see for yourself

Indeterminacy said...

Doug: You sly trap-digger you!

{illyria}: It has been mutual. Your pages are a special place in the Internet.

Master Mistery: Consider your story then as matched with Photo 416. Fantastic story by the way - really liked it. Especially the line "all alone on the face of the Land."

Cooper said...

I'm glad you are back writing it makes me heart feel good, you won my heart with that one. Right in time - just before the day expires.

Indeterminacy said...

Cooper: Yours is one of the hearts I'd give anything to win! I finally know why I've been writing all these stories!

Lorena's Blogbilingüe said...

Hey Indy,

I've been a bit behind the eight ball these days, occupied with things other than reading blogs, but just wanted to tell you I really like this story...very sweet (pun intended)

Lorena

DBA Lehane said...

Hey Inde...this story really blew me away, seriously seriously good and entertaining!

Indeterminacy said...

Lorena: Thank you, have a bon bon ;-)

DBA: Glad you liked this story - I'm not entirely satisfied with the ending - in that I think I could have made it a little more mysterious. There's not enough hint of the supernatural, I believe. But maybe for the reader, it's all right the way it is.

Poojo C. said...

I loved the ending. I really didn't see the candy coming :D

Indeterminacy said...

Thanks for sharing your impressions, Poojo - I guess everyone saw something else coming ;-)

ariel said...

I had about five endings to the story in my head, changing as going on with reading, not one of the candies.

Superb!

"female population of his car" was pretty funny, too.

Indeterminacy said...

I would love to know what the five endings were ;-)

Glad you enjoyed it - and the line about the female population I was going to change because I didn't like it. (To something like "his thoughts were in the back seat") But with your thumbs up I've decided to leave it alone.

Margaret Lindsay Holton said...

Great story ... Blondeness and Auburn is cute 'idea'. Got your 'link' from Ian of Hamburg ... Am gonna 'blogroll' you for a bit. Cheers, c p.s You might dig 'Words for Higher' chez moi.

Margaret Lindsay Holton said...

opps, pls see 'canadada.wordpress.com'

Indeterminacy said...

Margaret! Thank you for stopping by - Ian knows a lot of very clever bloggers. I'm proud that you stopped by and decided to link to me just like that. I think I would have done the same, had I happened across your blog first.

Lily Strange said...

"Ooh La La!" cried Pierre. "Les girls!"
He pulled his car over to the side of the road and beckoned for the two lovely lasses to come ride with him. He slicked back his hair and twirled his mustache, stroked his neat Van Dyke beard, and set his cap at a rakish angle."
"Where are you going, mon cheres a deux?" the randy Frenchman inquired, visions of menage a trois dancing in his head.
"To the Lesbian Power Convention, good sir," said the dark haired girl. "I'm Zoe and this is my wife Felicia. Thanks for offering us a ride. It's nice to meet people who are supportive of gay rights."
"Well, I was more right than I could have imagined," Pierre muttered to himself. "They are indeed Lez Girls."

Lily Strange said...

BTW, thanks for trying to get me some contestants. But Brittney really is an intimidating gal. I think she scared them all away.

Hobbes said...

Seems to me he could have fared a lot worse.

Indeterminacy said...

Lily: Your story was wonderful! I found it really entertaining. :-)

Hobbes: Yes, I must be getting mellow or something.

ariel said...

Indie, at first I thought they are going to make him drive them to an abandoned place and leave his body there. Then that they are going to navigate him out of the known world and to a not normal party, something you can read in a Stephen King novel. Then that they are going to turn into aliens. Then that they are going to rob him and leave with his car. Ok, that's 4. Your ending was surprising, sweet and warming, I loved it!