Tuesday, February 14, 2006


It was Valentine's Day. I brought down the wall-bed and there she was.

"Who are you?" I asked the girl prone on her back wearing a mini skirt and casual black boots.

"I am the ghost of girlfriends past," she moaned at me the way a ghost would.

"How delightful to see you," I told her, showing her my undivided interest - as I was indeed delighted to see her - or all of them, even if the relationships hadn't lasted all that long. I began to recognize Miriam's eyes, Simone's thighs and Katherine's arm resting demurely below the tautly covered breasts that I knew were Tricia's and Tina's respectively.

She offered me Vickie's hand and I grasped it in mine. Instantly we were out on the town, on a conglomerate of first dates. But it went terribly wrong in a faux pas flurry of slurped soup and stepped on feet and overstepped bounds followed by slaps to my face, and the odd kick below the belt. I returned limping to my room, having lost them all in one night. There on the bed lay another girl.

"I am the spirit of girlfriends present," she stated less eerily, because she wasn't dead.

I recognized all three of my current flirts in one body, which was kind of a touchy situation, as they weren't supposed to know about each other. She sprang up and glared at me with Georgia's fiery eyes and clawed at me with Lina's razor-like fingernails and spat at me with Vera's venomous mouth. It was all I could do to toss the three of them back onto the bed and close it into the wall before she could lunge at me again. She would have scratched my eyes out, I'm sure, and swallowed them for breakfast.

After a long quiet I deemed it safe to open the bed again. "I am the imagination of girlfriends yet to be," announced the dark-haired beauty, her suggestive voice melting the icy fear of the previous visitation. I looked into her eyes and saw a collage of girls I'd had my eye on or stalked. She stared a beaconing gaze at me, then curled up on the bed, as if awaiting my advance. But she began to snigger as I approached, then to laugh outright, louder and fiercer. The love in her eyes turned to wicked mirth the nearer I came, and the laugh full of wrath. I pounced onto the bed to claim her kiss but found my mouth full of chicken feathers spurting from the mattress. After my coughing settled I noticed she was gone, and a note left on the pillow: "I'm leaving you, retroactively."

But the day was still young. I went to the store to buy a new set of Valentine cards.

Story #334

Who needs reality, when there's the beauty and creativity and fascination and imagination and savvy and sensuousness of all these lovely blogging ladies I list below. Believe me, I wanted to write all of you into a story as the ultimate archetypal companion, friend, and lover but even some fantasies can never be put into words, which is why I decided on an anti-Valentine's story instead. But without further ado...

A collective hug and kiss and Happy Valentine's Day to all my favorite femmes:

A Woman, Abby Taylor, Actonbell, Alice, Ally, Ana-ng, Angel, Annush, April, Atomicvelvetsigh, Barbara Shaurette, Bio, Carrie, Carrie, Cheesecakeerian, claudBLOG, Colette, Cori, Courtney, Deb, Diamonelle, Encandescente, Enemy of the Republic, Erika & Gabrielle, Frances Bo Bancess, Fring, G.D., Gabriela, Geekgirl, Girl with a Suitcase, GirlieLezz, Helen, Icy, Illyria, Ingrid / Miranda / Mandy / Spork / Wootton (five girls in one), Jamie Dawn, Jane, Jem Lambert, Jennifer, Jess, Jessie, Johanna, Ju, Kathryn, Kristina, Kvitsh, Laura Carter, Lauren, Little Bar of Soap, LiVEwiRe, Livinia, Liz, Lucy, M.P., Malapert Minx, mD, Milamber, Miss Brightside, Miss Jay, Monika, Mrs. Weirsdo, Nyanda, Ophelia Rallek-Porta, Ostrich, Patricia Jenkins, Peppermint Patty, Pia, Princess Dominique, Rhoda, Riss, River, Roachz, Saheli, Saksak Puso, Samai, Sar, Sarsparilla, SeizeTheNite, Sk8-rn, Soulkin, Still Life, Sylphidine, The Gray One, Tiffany, Tina Dupuy, TwistedNoggin, Virus Witch, Young at Heart in San Diego, Zeitghost and Zielonooka.

Even if some of you are married or taken or lesbian, and even if one of you is married to me!

And thank you to my past love, Girl with a Suitcase, whose recent reappearance reminded me of today's photo...

30 comments:

Doug said...

*clapping*

Girl with a Suitcase said...

Do I approve?! Yes, I approve! And I am writhing in ecstatic laughter. Was up all night with monkey brain fixated on Budapest, on how I miss it so,...but now this perfect, clever Valentine to greet me this morning.

Thank you thank you thank you you darling indeterminate clever you.

Happy Valentine's Day to you too!

Diamonelle said...

Yo Indie! Happy Valentine's Day from me and Mrs. Weirsdo, who is happy just to be ind BOLD print, whereas I am in GIGANTIC letters and right next to "incandescente" which is like it should be, you feel me?
But Indie, you have had some seriously f@#$ed up luck with women! My brother Q, who is not like what you might call a feminist, says you got to learn how to treat your hos!

Tom & Icy said...

Woof! *lick* *wag wag wag*

Indeterminacy said...

Doug: *bowing* *splitting seams of pants*

Girl with Suitcase: Your comment is the best Valentine's greeting I ever got. Where were the girls like you when I was in High School and College?

Diamonelle: Now I am really flattered that you came by to see me. You're not even flesh and blood, but that's what I love about you. You're not fake like the other girls (excluding Girl with Suitcase and everyone else I linked to). Do you really think I should change my approach? Can I practice it with you?

Icy: *pets & strokes* Icy

Cori said...

*blows a kiss*

Indeterminacy said...

*catches kiss* *walks around in a daze for ten minutes* *say Wow!*

Jamie Dawn said...

Superbly creative story! Love it!
Happy V-day to YOU!!!!!

Indeterminacy said...

Jamie: Thank you. You really have the classiest comments. I'm glad you weren't mad that I listed Courtney in my Valentine's list. But she's old enough to chaperone us.

Viviane said...

Hello, I found you through Audacia posting on the Carnival. Brilliant post.

Indeterminacy said...

I'm flattered by the attention at such a delicious place. Thank you for stopping by and for the compliment.

Helen said...

Indie,
We bloggers, I suppose, are the collection cyber spirit of girlfriends unknown. For I'm sure that you have in one way or another touched us each with your sensitivity, eroticism, humor or insights.
Happy Valentine's Day to you!
Peace...............

Indeterminacy said...

Awwww Helen, what a sweet thing to say. Thank you. (You get an extra hug).

The Mushroom said...

Happy Valentine's Day to you, Indie... in a non-sexual, non-romantic, platonic way that fellow girlwatchers share.

And that guy in the photo has half a mind to wake her or take her.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Happy Valentine's Day Indie...I'm late but I'm a hard working girl.

I was dizzy at first upon seeing that picture.....

It was lovely of you to write that for the big day.


Hearts and Flowers to you.

Indeterminacy said...

Thanks Mush *platonic pat on the back*

My apologies to anyone I missed in my Valentine's greeting list. I just went through all my links, but it turns out I did miss a few, because they weren't in my links. So I've had to come back and add a few retroactively.

Diamonelle said...

Not so fast, Indecency man! There are a few things that me and Q do not see eye to eye on, and how to treat a woman is one of them. I only passed on that piece of advice because he asked me to.
Now for tips on a FINE way to treat a woman, ask Checkers.

Ally said...

[temporarily suspends cynicism]

Thank you! *kisses cheek* :).

[/temporary suspension of cynicism]

:).

viruswitch said...

Belated anti-valentine greetings :))! Brilliant story.

Indeterminacy said...

Diamonelle: You should probably forget about this Q and come away with me. I could carry you around with me in my jacket pocket. Q couldn't do that.

Ally: The fringe benefits of having a blog. All the kisses from the lovely visitors xxx.

Viruswitch: With fans like you, I don't need fame and fortune. Although it would be nice to have all three. Somehow this story must have struck a vein with people (in ways I couldn't predict or imagine). I didn't think it was all that special, but it was linked in viviane212.blogspot.com, a high class blog about sex and sexuality (Thanks again Audacia and Viviane), and I've noticed in my referrals that people keep clicking in from e-mails, meaning apparently the url is being mailed around. Not really sure what it all means. It hasn't really happened before that I've noticed. Maybe because it's an anti-Valentine thing. I'll have to try it again whichever holiday is next.

viruswitch said...

:) Maybe the clicks come also from subscribed rss feeds of the posting that land into peoples email boxes. MAYBE.

weirsdo said...

In case there was some confusion, Q is short for Q Bic Zirconium, Diamonelle's rap star brother, the one who shot off her feet.

Indeterminacy said...

Viruswitch: Might be. I just never saw them before. Anyghow the hit count was something like double for this Valentine's story.

Wiersdo: Honestly all those Pansis and dingsbobs look alike to me, except Diamonelle, who really should get out of that world and into mine. I'll make her some new feet out of playdo.

~River~ said...

I tried very hard to post a comment yesterday, but nothing happened! :(

I remember writing something to the effect that all we bloggingwomen are more spirit-like than most because people 'know' us almost entirely through our words. Hmmm. Well...

Fun story AND happy belated Valentine's Day! :)

cheesecakeerian said...

Happy belated vday to you too =)

Indeterminacy said...

Alice: In the flurry of comments I somehow missed yours. Thanks for the sentiment. I am happy the story struck a note with you.

River: You're onto something. It's so wonderful to know the minds and spirits of the creative women who blog. I often wonder, from a psychological point of view, if I/we would recognize these women upon meeting them personally. Do they show in their blogs a side of themselves that no one could ever suspect or imagine who knows them outside of the internet? It's a psychological topic about how we present ourselves in different situations: the workplace, with friends, among family. What happens online?

Indeterminacy said...

Cheescakeerian: Thankyou. P.s. Those who do not know you: they are missing out on wonderful charm and wit!

one said...

A hug back to you!

Jem said...

Aww I missed this. Thank you! :)

Erika said...

Smooches to you as well. Better late than never, eh?