Friday, November 11, 2005


The purple-reddish mass burped and bubbled in the blender. Bill had planned this for months. Night after night toiling in that basement lab of his had paid off. Now he knew the formula and it would work. It worked on the tomcats he had captured, those horridly noisy creatures outside his window, so it would work on humans. He had a new theory of reverse evolution, and now he would try it on his friends - more specifically, on his female friends. He'd invited all the girls he ever daydreamed about, and they came, but of course with dates. That in itself was not a problem. With a little creative drink-mixing and shell-gaming the superfluous boys would receive harmless strawberry milkshakes, spiced with a strong but tasty liquor. Immediate intoxication would result. But he and the girls will have slurped the degeneration drink. In instants too fast to count, they would melt into an amoebic mass, oozing into each other, until they were one. To be one with so many girls at once! It made his hands tremble slightly as he filled the tumblers. Now the moment had come. They all moved towards him and smiled. A toast! To pleasure! It took Bill three seconds to devolve into his primal state of flowing cells. Unfortunately he miscalculated the feminine metabolism. He'd overlooked that the polarity on women is reversed, overlooked the completely contrary nature of the anima, which has its own ideas when men come around. The drink pushed them the other way. The girls, already halfway there, evolved into goddesses. Their first action as higher beings was to order the men to clean up the slimy mess that Bill had left behind.

Story #307

6 comments:

Doug said...

He overthought it. Here's the recipe for degeneration drink.

Water, sweeten to taste.

saksak puso files said...

god im so turned on. gad. love this indie.

aliens
nymphs

rar

ie said...

tsk tsk, this bill didn't live up to the name that clinton guy so earnestly made. well okay, even the famous bill turned to some kind of slime, but at least he got the girl.

Indeterminacy said...

Saksak: Very happy to have pleased you. They carried the slime to the swamp...

Nizoral: At least no dresses were stained.

The Mushroom said...

No matter how you slice it, Bill was going to leave a puddle and there was going to be a bossy chick not putting out. Not even weird science can help some people 'get lucky'. At least unlike that other guy he wasn't trying to get places with 'Spanish fly', and we've seen that movie remade a few times. ("help meeeeeee!")

Tickles_Tapeworm said...

So what did the cats turn into?