Tuesday, February 01, 2005


Mona's mouth went on vacation. Although she didn't really need to, she signed up for the No Nibbles diet to make herself slimmer and more attractive to men. After losing about two pounds in the first week, nothing else happened. It was just like all the other diets. Her skin somehow drew fat out of the air. Not only that, her dates with guys weren't going well anymore. Without a mouth to talk to them, smile at them and other things that girls' mouths did, she found the guys were avoiding her for even heavier girls who were able to put their money where their mouth was. She sent a registered letter to the No Nibbles company asking them to return her oral appendage but they refused. They had a verbal agreement, and the orifice was theirs now, to do with as they pleased, at least for the next year. If only she had thought twice before opening her mouth. After the initial shock she started hanging out at the art museum, in the Dali section, where she didn't feel so conspicuous. She finally met a nice student who was into surrealism. He took her just as she was, though she was still sensitive about the bump on her face when she unthinkingly tried to stick out her tongue.

Story #148

5 comments:

The Mushroom said...

I've heard of plenty of guys who would love a woman with no mouth... they tend to be quieter while football games are on. The downside though is that there are no blowjobs -- which are important to guys who like women without voices.

Only another 278 days until she gets her mouth back; patience, Mona, and be at the mailbox when it arrives. :)

Anonymous said...

When you speak too much at innappropriate times, you'd wish you had no mouth like Mona...Buth then...I think the world would lose a good LOT if that happened to all women... After all... where are men's brains??? (sorry for the feminist tone!..LOL) M.P.

roachz said...

My mouth WON'T end up there (I nibble all the time). Kill me.

Indeterminacy said...

Not so much kill as perhaps... kiss. ;-)

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