Monday, February 07, 2005

Dick and Jane wandered around the labyrynth, hoping to work out a storyline for their next primer. "See Dick run" just didn't work with today's youth. Why were Dick and Jane running? What was their motivation? There was no passion to the plot. Kids wanted action, suspense, drama. Dick and Jane had to be running in mad panic, trapped in an M.C. Escheresque setting, one step ahead of a pyschopathic killer tracking them with his pet dog, Spot, a ravenous hellhound with three heads. They tested the maze, developing various scenarios. But did it have to be so horrific? The idea for a sexual education manual was fun to work out in all its detail, and they did, several times, but deep down they knew it would never make it past the education committees.

Story #154


The Mushroom said...

Practice makes perfect. I was able to get a glimpse of the MS submitted for the sexual education textbook -- it was along the same reading lines as all their other books, but it started getting a little campy. A few sample lines:

"Look, look! Puff is wet!"

"See Jane suck Dick."

"Funny, funny Jane! She bends over the table and waits. See Dick stand behind Jane and put his dick in her... dick, Dick, dick!"

"MAKE ROOM FOR SALLY. 'I want to play too!' Sally said. Jane sat on Dick's dick. Sally lifted her dress and sat on Dick's face, and Jane gave Sally a big kiss. Kiss, Sally! Kiss, Jane! Lick, Dick, lick! 'Oh, oh, look, see, oh!' Sally said."

Indeterminacy said...

I nominate this for best comment made at a blog, ever!

M.P. said...

Oh well... I'll keep up to the question "why must it all be so horrific?"... In fact I don't understand why kids are all so mad about violent anythings... Will it mean will live in an even more violent society in years to come than the one we are already living in??

Abby Taylor said...

When child actors grow up and go bad. Film at eleven.

The Mushroom said...

Further excerpts, which might not make it to the final draft due to not quite being of the correct writing style:

Look, see. Dick is getting a boner. Rise, Dick, rise!

Here comes Jane. Can you hear her gasp? Come, Jane, come!