Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Black Rock Cave


One day a man was going to camp in a cave. in death vally. He set up his sleeping bag. Then it started to rian, and then lightning struck in front of the cave, and made a rock to heavy to move fall in front of the cave. It was pitch black except for his fire. Then there was an earthquack and rocks came of and he saw flesh and blood in the rocks from other campers. and there was something carved in the rock that said leave - or this will be you. And than he looked and had to addmit it was him. Unfortuonatly he didn't scare easly so he decided to investagate. Then all of a sudden - he turned around and discovered he discovered the tunnel of time! He was going back in time! Then he couldn't go any further he was in the begining of time, to die, die in this hot earth.

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Note: This was the ninth and final story I wrote when I was 11. There was no illustration, so I found a photo for it. Probably I would have drawn a view looking into the tunnel, and the man from behind, walking into it.

In writing these stories I had first thought up the title, and then wrote the story. The three titles which were to follow, but which I never wrote, include:
10. Lost and Found in Space
11. The Orange Glow
12. Nowhereland

Perhaps it was I who walked into the time tunnel...

13 comments:

weirsdo said...

Wow. That is really creepy and has good twists, despite being so short.
Belated happy blogiversary.

Indeterminacy said...

Mrs. Weirsfo: Thanks for such encouraging feedback - it confirms what I've always feared. I was at my prime at the age of 11. It's been downhill ever since ;-)

Indeterminacy said...

Sorry: that should be Mrs. Wiersdo!

Doug said...

The photo fits perfectly with the Outer Limits flavor. "Die in this hot Earth" might be the first line of contemporary Indeterminacy.

Lost and Found in Space still needs writing, by the way. What a loss to american letters.

Indeterminacy said...

Doug: I was also a Lost in Space fan - maybe the story would have been something like that. But like every kid around those years I was fascinated by the moon landings, etc. I wish I had written the three stories, too.

This was the only photo I had that would fit the story. Anyhow, on TV when they travel through time, that's always what it looks like.

The Mushroom said...

Run! Earthquack! [duck head rising from the abyss...]

Let's get straight to the hot death, shall we? Without further ado, here's death. Thank you for coming!

Indeterminacy said...

Mushroom: At least I spelled discover right. (I did, didn't I?)

Minka said...

You wrote that at the age of 11?
Impressed. I was wondering about teh typos while reading :)

Indeterminacy said...

Minka: Looking at all the stories (the ones I posted are probably the best two), I didn't think they stood out at all. Then again I don't have much experience with 11 year olds. My son is 9 at the moment and we're trying to get him to practice writing . I thought these stories would help to make him aware of some of the mistakes he makes (repetition, etc.).

Jamie Dawn said...

This story proves that you have always had a very fertile imagination. I'm sure your little mind at the time was picturing the images that this story produces.
I'd like to time travel, but I don't want to die in the hot earth.

Indeterminacy said...

Jamie: You haven't seen the other stories - if these are good, they're a C-.

We're probably all going to die in one or two generations because of the global warming, but it will be a moral victory for humanity because we won't have acknowledged that the global warming exists.

Before that happens you should watch the Twilight Zone episode "The Midnight Sun" - really cool, or hot. It has a cool ending ;-)

cooper said...

impressive, especially the to die line.....at that age....what were you thinking?
To meet the 11 year old inde.........

Indeterminacy said...

Cooper: If only I knew what I was thinking then. I'm wondering, too. I'll see if I can find a photo of the 11 year old me and send you a scan. I was shy, skinny and awkward, also probably a spoiled brat. That's who you would have met.