In a tersely worded announcement, "Coming to a shore near you!" the aliens declared their arrival. It worked better than any advertising slogan known to man. And why not? These were superior beings who knew how to sell a product, e.g. their flyover. Everyone turned out for a look. Despite the rush, no one was trampled in the massive conglomerate of humanity that collected on sea, lake and river shores all over the world - though a few were mistakenly baptized in the glowing water. The alien vessels traced a leisurely levitation along the shores - so slow you could see the beings standing at the portals, shadows waving with stilt-like arms to those down below. Of course the people on ground waved excitedly back. How happy they all were! Until they returned home and saw that their computers and televisions were gone, whisked away into outer space. It was amazing how fast civilization collapsed after that.
Story #345
Thanks to everyone who contributed! It turned into an interesting set of perspectives, though all of the stories had something spectacular, apocolyptic etc. as an underlying theme. All contributions have been reposted at indeterminacies.blogspot.com..
25 comments:
Thanks for stopping by my blog. You have a great concept here yourself. I will post a link to you from my site.
And from the crowd, a man stood and said "Blessed are the dial-up users for they shall see the sunset. Blessed are the bloggers for they shall be heard in heaven. Blessed are those with narrow bandwidth for through them will pass the spirit of the internet. Blessed are those who are poor in comments and meek in trackbacks for the son of man will speak through them. You say we cannot speak but I tell you if you have hits no greater than a mustard seed, Technorati will surely rank you."
I read Doug's and totally forgot what I was going to write. VERY funny, Doug!! Bless you. You have inspired me to continue the Biblical theme.
The crowd gathered to hear the Master speak. They had been there all day without food. The children were crying and the womenfolk were nagging. The men longed for Big Macs.
The Master's helpers searched the crowd for food and found a young lad with some red licorice and a bag of sunflower seeds. The lad eagerly gave what he had for the Master's use.
The Master multiplied it and soon everyone had licorice and sunflower seeds and there was enough leftover to stock a 7-Eleven.
After the crowd's hunger was satisfied, they were overcome with thirst due to the salty seeds.
When no drink could be found, they resorted to drinking lake water which the Master turned to wine, for the adults only. The kids' water became orange juice.
ROTFL @Doug! it's just too funny. if I read it one more time, I piss my pants.
The crowd assembled seemingly out of nowhere at the sunset. Each was coincidentally carrying a shell at waist-level, without any sort of communication between them saying to pick one up. A lone guitar played in the distance, and as if by instinct the crowd sang along:
All our times have come
Here but now they're gone
Seasons don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain
(we can be like they are)
Come on baby --
Don't fear the reaper...
It had happened, just as the false prophesy had predicted: there was a blue öyster cult.
Lo, I say unto thee, except you arise and remain true to your country bumpkins, I will smite thee on thy right cheek and challenge thee to bring the barrel of monkeys in from the rain. Amen.
Zeteticus -- TediousExistence.blogspot .com
Thanks, Ariel and Jamie Dawn. J.D. yours is better yet, because because the feeding of the multitudes actually happened at the shore. I love the orange juice twist, although I'd have gone with grape slurpees. I've always been partial to grape slurpees.
Indie, you've got to get yourself over to Doug's site, pronto!! He's got such a goood story over there.
---------------
Doug: Grape slurpees sound good to me too.
--------------
Good stories so far, folks!
J-Day
I always lived by the Holy Book and every Sundays I went to church. I was born in a religious family, one of three children thus I have a brother and a sister,Robert and Mary. Roby is two years younger than me and Mary was born one year after, sorry to say that both turned out to take the wrong path in their early teens.
I married a nice girl in my thirties; Elisabeth disapointed me at times but in my credo we marry only once and I didn’t allow myself to divorce, oh I haven’t been perfect but no one is, right ? I indulged some sinful dids with one of my secretaries once, I did repent since and to make sure not to be tempted again I fired her.
I had some bad times; my only son Ricky got involved with drugs and made friends among outlaws and it was very costly(time and money) to get him out of trouble,meanwhile I found Lisy in bed with our neighboor one afternoon, I never been so ashamed in my entire life.
Anyway, I stuck to my faith, kept out of mischief and stayed true to my country.
So when judgment day came,even though it was a surprise to eveyone, I was ready. It happened,stuningly and exactly as described in the Bible, early in the morning that day there were strange lights and trumpets seemed to blow from the skies then later an overwhelming powerful voice called humanity to gather out and face the Lord, lights in the sky became as bright as a thousand suns.
The Lord appeared in all his glory and he directed sinners on his left and on his right side invited the faithful men and women and among the believers I recognized some influent,famous characters that kept in line with their faith and did abide by the scripts.
When my name was called and angels placed me on the Lord’s right I shed a tear of joy to be set right next to Him and my heart missed a beat, think of it, next to God.
All this took some time but times were over and in the end the Lord asked the people to his right if they were ready for departure, then my silly wife Lisy and my sister Mary refused to go anywhere without Roby and Ricky, I begged them to come back but they stubbornly said no, many other humans moved to the left and God spoke harshly,told them they were the worst of their kind; last minute quiters, renegades faking good and finally choosing bad.
Then there was the signal to depart and God and all his followers took-off, I was among them.
It’s been a long time now, a long time since we started and everything around is gray,I’m tired and I ask the Lord when we’ll reach paradise and he answers me.It’s a question:
“ Tell me my friend, what kind of soul would leave half of humanity and all his family in Hell?"
Looking every which way but behind them, members of the Smithville UFO club completely missed the splashdown. More than fifty had been beamed up before panic ensued.
"Serves them right," ran local opinion regarding their disappearance. "Bunch a crazies, if you ask me."
Weirsdo, that's funny, with at least two levels of irony. *applause* And in four sentences.
They had been waiting for it. At first everyone was shocked, others did not believe in it, while few blamed the government. The greatest minds worked on a solution day and night, but it quickly became obvious that there was no escape. What an odd destiny. God was laughing at them.
On the last day, everything was set. Most were afraid, the elder ones prayed or cursed. The passions that each human hid within, broke free, desperately trying to survive. But as the end was near everything became clear. All of a sudden everyone "knew" themself.
When the bright comet flew over the country its powerful dazzling light led their minds. The conversations stopped. The shouting and the yelling, the thinking and the pain; everything ceased. Real peace dwell in the hearts of men. As the comet grew brighter and bigger it embraced all that there was, to finally become all that there is.
@Doug: LOL, I feel blessed after reading your comment! I am also a humble dial up user!
It was Saturday morning. 7am. From all over, they had gathered for this event. It had been in the paper for weeks; "the talk of the town." There had never been quite a turn-out like this in over ten years. People of all nationalities, ages and gender appeared. This was the day they'd all waited for. It was the day that would change the future...
The Wal-Mart blow-out sale!
hehe
I'm having a great lunch hour reading all these stories, and wondering how bad the embarassment will be when I post my lame take on this. I kept thinking of Little Bar of Soap while reading these, and wished she was here in fellowship with us.
Andrewe: Thank you for the link, and I did enjoy your blog! People: go check it out - it will prepare you for my story.
Doug: Already the first story puts me to shame, and it's downhill after that. Here I am with DSL and everyone's firewall is blocking me.
Jamie: You should write a children's version of the Bible. You really should! What a wonderful miracle this was.
Mushroom: I like the mood of your story - I can almost hear the guitar.
Gerard: Thanks for your first ever contribution at indeterminacy. And it's a special story you shared here. So thanks doubly! I enjoyed the subtle irony of the man's decisions in life.
Mrs. Weirsdo: What can I say? I'm laughing to hard to say anything. Thanks for sharing your inspiration.
Viruswitch: That's an incredible idea - all of us one with the comet. Sounds somehow like the mood in 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Its_Baxter: That was a fine laugh! We also thought a little along the same lines - advertising. I wonder if the sale items will rain from the sky?
Now I've got to go and post my story, even though I don't like it. Also, I'll try to keep posting all week. I worked a little on a story for that contest, but I'm not satisfied with what I wrote, and it's not even finished. Maybe I'll make progress tonight.
Another (utterly amazing) story was sent to me from Yo(hannah) of lifetroughconfusion .blogspot.com.
When the sun rose over the lake, the people near the beach started to wake up. Soon there was a crowd of people standing there on the sand, watching the sunrise in silence.
Their clothes where dirty and their bodies had a smell of sweat and unwashed skin. There were old men and women, children and young boys and girls. They all had an expression on their faces as they where waiting for something to happen. Something they had been told in a prophecy.
The first Friday in July, the prophecy said, a miracle was supposed to happen near the beach at the south side of Loch Lomond, in a small village called Balloch.
A Priest named Douglas McFadden had had a vision and suddenly the little village church had got more visitors than ever before, and they were not only tourists.
McFadden had seen Jesus Christ himself walking across the water on Loch Lomond in his view. The Sunday after his first speech about what he saw, the church was packed with people from all over the village and the parishes near Balloch.
Father McFadden was that kind of person that really could make people believe in what he told them. So even if miracles weren’t a part of the village people’s ordinary lives, they didn’t criticise him. In fact, nobody even asked him if that view hadn’t been just a dream. People were talking, like the always do, but there were no doubt that the priest actually had seen something.
Two fishermen’s had found him on the beach, unconscious, with his hand on the cross around his neck. Hi wasn’t drunk and his health was in good condition, even if he was over 60 years old.
After visiting the local doctor, nobody heard him speak for several days. But when he spoke the next time, it was Sunday.
After the sermon, when the parish still sat quiet in the benches, he rolled up the left sleeve on his clothing and showed a red mark for the crowd. A big, red, Latin cross were carved in to the skin, and the intensity of its red colour where almost shining. A big gasp of apprehension filled the church hall and people started to mumble and whisper to each other with worried voices. But McFadden told them to calm down. “This is a sign” he told them. “Within one month, at the first Friday in July, Christ will walk on the water of Loch Lomond!”
Now, they were all waiting. They had spent the night in tents on the beach, and before they got to sleep McFadden had held a midnight mass. When the first sunbeam reached their eyes, he rang in a bell, and they all got up, still tiered, but exited in the early morning.
The sun made reflections on the waters shallow and together with the birds singing a piece of god’s creation were showed to them like an important picture on an exhibition.
Suddenly, somebody came walking across the beach. The figure was to far away, so they couldn’t she who it was, but they all started to stand still, following the creature with their eyes.
When the person came closer they saw something that they hadn’t been expecting. It wasn’t Jesus. It was a woman.
Nobody said a single word as the young, dark haired woman came forward them.
She was tall, with dark brown, gold spotted eyes, black hair, and olive skin. She was wearing a long, green dress of linen and a Grey coat with a hood that hang over her shoulders. Around her neck, a cross was hanging. It was exactly similar to that father McFadden was wearing.
In a low and gentle voice, she started to talk. “I now that you were expecting Jesus. The one you suppose is god’s son and the one who was said to die on the cross for you sins.” People in the crowd started to whisper “suppose? Who is that woman?” The woman was still standing peaceful and started to speak again. “I’m Mary of Magdala, or more known as Mary Magdalene. I also wrote an evangel, but as it hasn’t been written down in the bible it’s unfortunately not known by common people. I’m here to tell you a part of the Christian history that got lost.”
The sound of voices was now loud and aggressive. A group of men started to go forward her, but father McFadden stopped them and called for reason.
“My Child” he said. “I don’t know who you are, but I don’t think that you are Mary Magdalene. We are expecting Jesus Christ. I saw it, in a vision.” The woman that called herself Mary smiled. “Father, I’m a bit disappointed in you. I gave you a view of me, walking across the water. Your dear Jesus was standing on the beach, watching me. Please, remain silent now so I can tell you my story.
Some young teenage girls was the first ones to sit down in the grass by the beach and the other started to follow their examples.
Douglas McFadden was the last one to sit, holding his cross in the hand, shaking.
“I grow up with my parents and seven siblings in a small village just outside Bethlehem. My mother had a close friend who couldn’t bee pregnant, but she friend was afraid to tell her husband, because she was worried that he might leave her if she wasn’t fertile. My mother was expecting a child when she heard that, but was only four weeks pregnant so she made up a plan. Her friend should pretend to be pregnant and then, have my mothers baby as her own when it was born. My mother should tell my father that the child had been born dead. It was easy, as the men didn’t cared much about the child until it was older.
Eight months later Jesus was born. He was a healthy and strong little boy, and he glowed up happily in the family he came to. Jesus was born two years after me, and when we were young we always used to play together, look after the goats and lambs and carry water to our mothers.
I didn’t realize that he was my brother until my mother told me that on my twelfth birthday. She saw that we were close, and to stop us from falling in love, she told me about her secret. I was forbidden to tell Jesus about it, and I kept that promise.
I got my first vision from god when I was thirteen, just after my first menstruation. I had gone to bed early, cause my stomach was hurting, and together with a cup of strong tea, I tried to sleep.
Suddenly, there was a strong light in front of me. A angel, twice as big as me, was standing beside my bed. It was a she and she smiled and even though I must have been scared I felt calm. She told me that I was born for a special mission, and that I should walk in the footsteps of god.
When I waked up the next morning, I felt a strong feeling inside me that I had to keep what I’ve saw inside me until the day I could leave my parents house.
The rest of the story is well known by you, although the dear disciples felt ashamed of my gender and instead of me they chose Jesus to be the main character in their evangels. I don’t blame my brother; he helped me a lot and was one of my most enthusiastic pupils.”
When Mary Magdalene had finished her story, the sun had raised over the horizon as a big, burning globe. Some people in the parish had fallen down on their knees, crying and praying, but of joy. Others were just standing silent, watching her with hesitation in their faces.
Then, she turned her back at them and started to walk down in the water. At first, nothing happened. Then a young girl, not more than ten years, started to follow her. Soon, they were al walking down in the water. Old men and women, children and young boys and girls. They all had an expression on their faces as they where a part of a miracle.
Something they had been told in a prophecy.
I've just finished reading Johanna's story - it's simply amazing! And I'm truly stunned and humbled to have such a great story here. I hope she will repost it at her blog, as well.
I messed up the link, so here it is again: lifetroughconfusion.blogspot.com/
They took their copmuters and televisions?
I'm so glad this story was fiction, Indie.
I was about to hyperventilate.
I should have proofread....
Copmuters????
Has a nice ring to it.
Jamie: I'm glad it's only fiction, too.I'm going to go watch tv now. (P.S. until you pointed it out, I did not see the typo!)
Inderterminacy, Sorry I signed with my full name,my middle name is Pierre and it's not the first time I posted on your blog but I used to post as GPV
What a sneaky ruse to get all our computers, by a species that's mastered marketing and space-travel, after all. Door stops?
Gerard: Thanks - I had suspected, but now I know which link to place behind your story.
Doug: Right. I'm keeping the best of the laptops. The rest I'm sending to E-bay.
Filth! Filth! Filth!
Thanks for the compliments, Indie and Doug (bowing modestly). I enjoyed your stories too, and found Doug's particularly uplifting and inspirational. When is Palm Pilot Sunday?
Post a Comment