Wednesday, March 01, 2006


Artie went out looking for the snowman he remembered building the night before. He pulled the scarf over his face as the blast of constricting coldness slapped him like dry ice onto a thaw. Never had he known it so cold. As he forced his eyes to turn in the slicing wind he felt his frozen breath adhere to his pupils, blurring his vision. He blinked slowly, holding his eyes shut long enough to unfreeze the oval surfaces. When he opened them again he saw the girl. A girl in the snow. In a bikini.

"What are you doing in that bikini?" he uttered in puzzlement to the smiling beauty in snow.

"I'm not wearing a bikini," she giggled through a grin flexing from slight to wide as if to tease with its warmness - by no means were her lips frozen.

"I don't understand," he spoke in baffled whispers to himself, "A moment ago I was in the house, drinking hot chocolate, looking out at the summer season. But the night before I'd built a snow man..." None of it fit. None of it made sense, and he knew it.

She smiled livelier than before, as if humoring him. His world wobbled. With trembling tongue and shivering lips he parried frozen words at her, "Icicles entwine you! Snowballs untan you! Coldness upon your feet!" but the syllables failed their affect. He didn't know why he'd said it all.

"I love crystallized speech! Give me more of those candies!" she cooed.

His vision clouded again and he saw snowflakes before his eyes. When he came to he perceived that he was stiff, stiff and standing in the snow, arms weighted by his side, eyes fixed on the feminine apparition in the snow.

"You're confused," she told Artie. "Your mind's wandering. You babble on about walking around in that house. And summer. And bikinis. Then you act as if you never saw me before. What's gotten into you? You're a snowman, Artie, and don't forget it. And I'm a snowgirl. Snuggle up to me Artie, and cherish the cold."

Story #341

Check out Will Brady's story for the photo!

12 comments:

The Mushroom said...

I would give a million pennies
Because I'd like to know...
Where did my snowman
(now there is no man)
Where did my snowman go?

-- Gene Autry

I always enjoyed visiting Uncle Arvid's farm as a youth because he raised cattle, horses, and girls. For some reason they all seemed happy, even in the middle of winter when you'd think they'd all want to come out of the cold, so he must have had some great animal husbandry skills. I enjoyed petting his livestock, they were always so pretty and healthy. He wouldn't let me play with them or ride them because he said they may seem beautiful and docile but they were still dangerous creatures. When I got old enough to better understand and enjoy the girls, he'd already gotten out of the livestock ranching business and planted his fields with corn, soy, and sorghum. That broke my heart, but he said it was inevitable for monitary reasons... cattle may have market value for milk and meat, but horses and girls (as attractive and useful as they are) are money pits with little financial return.

viruswitch said...

Frostie the snowman's dream? Its a sad moment when he realized that he is a snowman, but on the other hand he had the snowgirl :).

cooper said...

Nice stuff.

My first thought was cold ass. lol

Young at Heart in San Diego said...

Great story Indie! Sad ending, but not as bad as he’ll feel when the thaw comes and he melts into a puddle. And like Virus says, at least for now he has the girl, even if they are kinda like a frozen Walter Middy and his old wife. Now Mushroom’s story had a kinkiness to it that appealed to me…hmmm animal husbandry ;-) sounds fun! Myself I first thought the fence looked like a goal, so I would have gone with ice hockey or some kind of frozen water sports.

Indeterminacy said...

Mushroom: It's the true stories that intrigue themost. Do you happen to have a found photo of some of your uncle's livestock?

Viruswitch: The way I first wrote it the "snowman" was really angry at the girl because she was wearing his girlfriend's bikini. But it all seemed so fake. So I made his part more subtle. I really didn#t think it would come across as sad, though now I guess it does. He does get the girl, although I'm not sure how snowmen can snuggle up to something. He'll probably melt in her direction. (like we non-snowmen do).

Alice: My first thought was the opposite temperature ;-)

Young at Heart: I thought it would be nice to use the fence somehow, but couldn't think how. I'm going to study what exactly made the story so sad and try to learn from it. Next time I can do it on purpose!

The Mushroom said...

Indie: I'm pretty sure I have some photos from down on the farm. :) Two come to mind offhand but I need to scan them larger than the 300x200 versions I have prepared for my site for you.

Indeterminacy said...

Mushroom: "Pretty sure"?? I'm also pretty sure little boy Mushroom would have snatched any interesting photos he saw laying around, or out of photo albums - just like big boy Mushroom does today ;-)

The Mushroom said...

It was 2am when I wrote that, so the correct phrasing is "I have some, yes, and I'm pretty sure I can find them (that's the challenge) and scan soon." Mushy at any age wouldn't let anything like that get away from him. Tomorrow's my day off so I'll get searching through the farm file shortly.

Jamie Dawn said...

Very COOL story, Indie.
I couldn't resist saying that.

That girl's buns had to be pretty cold after that pic was taken. Frozen bootie!

A Little Bar of Soap said...

This picture is utter FILTH!

I have answered your silly tag.

Synchronicity Evangelist said...

First thought:

She thinks she cannot be weathered in. She can walk around naked in chilliest winters. And warm clothes do not burn her in scorching summers.

Indeterminacy said...

Mushroom: Guess they had no trouble keeping you down on the farm.

Jamie: Thanks. I'm sure she got it warmed up again pretty quick.

Little Bar: why, this gal is as pure as the driven snow. Incidentally, I thought you had a great (and hoenst) answer to the meme. With memes we have to take the good with the bad.

Full of Love: I really wish I knew the story behind the photo. It seems an extraordinary photo to make.

Will Brady has sent me a story of his own to the photo (with a great surprise ending). You can comment on his post here.

Christine had kept this picture from her childhood. Only recently her husband came across it wondering what it was all about. He was perplexed, since he believed she had never left Southern California until she had been in her mid-tweinties. She chuckled when seeing it, and it brought back memories of the occasion.

She had been trying out for a role in what had been described as a "madcap" adventure about a set of identical twin cousins which would be shot mostly in studio but might have required her to travel for some location shots later on.

This was one of the scenes the studio bosses had whipped up as part of her screen test.

She remembered the smell of powder being used to create the illustion of snow as so pungent that it made Christine want to sneeze. She couldn't believe that so much soap would be wasted on a series of demo photos just to see how people would appear as if they were in the snow.

At the time, she thought this was all pretty stupid. For that matter, so was the idea of the show. Who could imagine a show about twin cousins ever making it to television? This was all her mom's idea anyway; to make Christine a child star. So she didn't do the audition well at all. She even wore her socks on the set, which isn't what the director asked for.

But the event was not without it's bittersweet memories. The girl doing the screen test after her was someone named Patty; Patty Duke.