Monday, February 20, 2006


Lucy didn't think there would be any harm in signing up as part of the test audience for the new interactive cable system, and perhaps there wasn't. The cute boys in the beach scene popped out of the television and joined her on the couch, including her in their conversation, and - she was not entirely certain of this - the one casting furtive glances at her legs whenever she set eyes on the other. But the boys sat back and became politely silent as the infomercial sprang into the center of the room. It was a pretty witch who turned to Lucy smiling and exuding spells from her fingertips. She spoke in a steady, entrancing voice compelling Lucy to think of Ajax Detergent and how magically it cleansed, the idea billowing into her brain like an expanding soap bubble. She was ready to stand up and dash to the supermarket to buy a year's supply of Ajax when suddenly, without warning, the boys, the witch, and the entire program were preempted by a football game stumbling into the room.

Story #338

Oh yes, the announcement about "Something else is going to happen Monday that could cause me to lose the majority of my readership. So enjoy this quiet weekend before the storm..." The announcement is that I've proven that I can drone on with the best of them, even breaking the five minute barrier! (Yes it's my voice, and yes it's a true story). P.S.: This is a photo contribution from Viruswitch!

All your stories have been reposted at indeterminacies.blogspot.com.

16 comments:

Sar said...

Uh oh, Indie, that sounds ominous! You're not leaving us are you?

Okay for my contribution....

The world of martial arts was rocked to its very core by the shocking discovery that that Stevie Nicks was among the original influences that that inspired the infamous Karate Kid stance after this photo mysteriously resurfaced.

Sar said...

(I have no idea how I wound up typing "that that" let alone twice in one comment!)

viruswitch said...

Boah! This is a very weird picture to think a story about... *viruswitchiscurious*

viruswitch said...

The nameless secret society had been brought to life by mankind's most important necessity: to combat all evil. Evil nowadays had many odd ways of manifesting itself as invisible spirits that hovered in and out the ether, becoming visible only when nobody was looking. The rare ones who saw them were confined in a great building called "Irrenhause" obliged to contribute to the nameless secret society searching endlessly for a way to dispell them. Everything seemed hopeless until one day Frollo, Esmeralda, Quasi, Jasmine and Alex had finally found the greatest weapon of all times. Laughing out loud long enough would dispell their fears. And when their fears were gone all enemies were crashed under their own absense of gravity. The trick worked for them but unfortunately got lost and forgotten.

The Mushroom said...

The dormies thought they were getting quite the deal when they hired Madame Medusa to strip at their frat party. Unfortunately the only Greek history they knew was the name of their frat, Iota Tau Kappa, and even then they kept calling "I Tappa Kegga". The dormies took their places around the common room to watch Madame Medusa bump and grind... and after some lustful thrusts and clangs of her zilds, she turned them all into an oil painting. It was the tamest party the ITKs had ever seen, and when the Omega Mu sorority moved into the seemingly-empty already-furnished dorm building two weeks later they kept some of the pictures up in the common room like they were those paintings of dogs playing poker, and threw out the gaudy ones.

Jamie Dawn said...

They were watching the winter olympics when suddenly Disney's Aladdin came on. Jasmine flew out of the television. They were so thrilled except for the geeky one in the middle. Jasmine had come to take her home. She was Jasmine's sister and had been pretending to be a guy for nearly two months. Why? Nobody knows.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I love reading these stories,

uh oh....

Now I have to pencil you in on my day planner.

Lasha - Oomelasha said...

I watch you coming in the like an angle in a blue beauty..... My Beauty with a Indian dressing..... I see you with a laugh and I see you with delight..... O god you are my beauty in all my life... I See you with pride, want to dace with you in same delight.....I love you with all my life......

Doug said...

Hopefully, the Doug Drones On taint won't cost you all of your readership.

Indeterminacy said...

Sar: I would not mind if the gal in the photo would try to subdue me with karate. ;-) (again, I can never write them this short - I'm amazed when someone can)

Viruswitch: I like the story, but the trick can't be lost!?! How will I protect myself on the way to and from work?

Mushroom: Turned them in to an oil painting. Wow. this reminds me somehow of the Twilight Zone episode where the oil painting melts. ("The Midnight Sun")

Jamie: I've always wanted to end one of my stories that way. I was actually worried that no one had time to write stories this weekend, as they all came in so late. I thought people were watching the Olympics instead of surfing.

Alice: I'm honored. Now what do I have to do to make your night planner?

Oomelasha: That has got to be the most poetic contribution I can remember. Thanks a million!

Indeterminacy said...

Doug: That story may cost me Little Bar of Soap's readership. I hope someone will revive her when she faints. Did I mention anywhere that that was actually a recollection and not a fictional story?

viruswitch said...

As long as you can laugh, you know the trick ;). My ending was bad but I had no time and will to make a better one :(. But cool! Nice and fun stories.

Indeterminacy said...

I think the ending was good though it might have been formulated a little different. "Got lost" implies that it could be found again. but "was lost" leaves it more open, I think. If you wrote "was lost for all times" it would very clear. (not to criticize your English - you already have 90% of the folks back home beat).

viruswitch said...

:) I didnt know this difference! Actually I would be grateful if someone would critisize my english. And thanks for using my contribution for your story!

weirsdo said...

I like the "billowing into her mind like an expanding soap bubble" simile.
I'm glad you got that story out on "Doug Drones On." Dr. Weirsdo and I thought it was hysterical when you e-mailed it to us.

Jamie Dawn said...

The monthly fee for interactive cable must be outrageous!