Thursday, January 12, 2006


I am Pam

I am Pam
Pam I am

That Pam-she-is !
That Pam-she-is !
I do not like
that Pam-she-is !

Do you like my green friend Liz ?

I do not like her Pam-she-is
I do not like your green friend Liz

Would you like her left or right ?

I would not like her left or right
I would not like her in my sight
I do not like your green friend Liz
I do not like her Pam-she-is

Would you like her in a park ?
Would you like her in the dark ?

I will not meet her in a park
I will not touch her in the dark
I will not have her left or right
I will not have her in my sight
I will not like your green friend Liz
I will not like her Pam-she-is

Would you take her by the hand ?
Would you take her in the sand ?

Not by the hand
Not in the sand
Not at a park
Not in the dark
I do not want her left or right
I do not want her in my sight
I do not like your green friend Liz
I do not like her Pam-she-is

Would you ? Could you ? In a bar ?
Meet her ! Meet her ! She's a star

I would not
could not
in a bar

You may like her
She won't bite
You may like her
late at night !

I would not could not late at night
Not in a bar ! You are not right
I do not like her by the hand
I do not like her in the sand
I do not like her at a park
I do not like her in the dark
I do not like her left or right
I do not like her in my sight
I do not like your green friend Liz
I do not like her Pam-she-is

A bed ! A bed !
A bed ! A bed !
Could you would you
in a bed ?

Not late at night ! Not in a bed !
She's green I tell you ! Toe to head !

Would you kiss her
on the mouth ?

I would not kiss her on the mouth !
I would not kiss her North or South !
I would not could not touch her hand
I could not would not in the sand
I will not see her in the park
I will not see her in the dark
I will not see her left or right
I will not see her in my sight
I do not like your green friend Liz
I do not like her Pam-she-is

You do not like her
So you say
Kiss her ! Kiss her !
Then you may
Kiss her then you may I say

Pam !
If you will make her go
I will kiss her
So you know

[.]
[.]
[.]

Say !
I like your green friend Liz !
I do ! I like her Pam-she-is !

Story #326

Note from Indeterminacy: It has its flaws, but that's the best I could make it. My apologies to Dr. Seuss. For those of you who do not know the original "Green Eggs and Ham," go here, go there, go anywhere. This also happens to be one of my first childhood books.

I think that we can now agree that I should not write poetry.

Postscript: I didn't think of this when I wrote the above post, but there really are gals out there called Liz. One of them is right here.

21 comments:

Doug said...

I think we can agree you shouldn't do Dr. Seuss' poetry.

OldGuy said...

Hey, I think it's kinda cool.

Indeterminacy said...

Doug: Watch it, Doug, or I'll dig up the poems I wrote in college and send you one.

Oldguy: Thanks. Actually I never liked Dr. Seuss when I was little. I just had that one book and I got tired of it quickly. Don't know why. Maybe because there was so much repetition. Now that I have my own son, I enjoy the books and reading them with him.

Jamie Dawn said...

Green Eggs & Ham is such a delight! A green girl is not such a delight.
Today, I read about three green pigs in Taiwan. Everything is green (inside & out), and they glow in the dark. Very cool. I put my order in for a hot pink poodle.

Indeterminacy said...

Hi Jamie,

A pig that's green is what I dread
I'll take the girl that's green instead

;-)

The Mushroom said...

That's the first time Dr. Seuss has given me a chubby.

If a green girl (or torso anyway) was good enough for Captain Kirk, I think I can handle it... going boldly where no man has gone before [if she's to be believed].

I liked your poetry, Indie.
With a fox, in her box.

Helen said...

If there really is anyone out there who hasn't read Green Eggs and Ham (hard to imagine it!) I highly recommend it. Very good reading!
Peace..............

Indeterminacy said...

We take it for granted, but outside of the English speaking world, at least in Germany, Dr. Seuss is pretty much unheard of. Or was. Just about five years ago they came out with German translations of Cat in the Hat, and the recent movies have made him more well known. The other problem is that it's very very hard to translate the verses into something reasonable. We have lots of Dr. Seuss books here, and we brought one back for my son's school class library (they're starting English now - 3rd grade).

viruswitch said...

I didnt know about Dr Seuss before! and was taken aback with surprise reading this! I really enjoyed it!!! It reminded me of a traditional poem we have in greece where the story gets repeated in a similar way. Your version is really entertaining, firstly because its the rhymes are fun. Secondly because it illustrates a funny situation, I bet in truth its about a guy who wants to kiss the green Pam nevertheless!

ME Strauss said...

Hi,
I'm Indie's friend, Liz, and I'm here to say that I'm not really green. Well, not everywhere. :)

Indeterminacy said...

Viruswitch: Thanks, and I'm happy you enjoyed this. The classic Dr. Seuss stories are: Green Eggs and Ham, The Cat in the Hat, The Cat in the Hat Comes Back, Horton Hears a Who, and the Grinch Who Stole Christmas - at least those are the ones I know about. The recent movies (Grinch & Cat in the Hat) have been trash, though. But there are original half hour cartoons of the Grinch and Horton, from the 60's I think, done under the hand of Dr. Seuss himself - these are classics.

Liz: We'll leave it as an exercise to the student to find where the green is ;-)

Young at Heart in San Diego said...

Great story Indie! I guess it’s understood that “I will eat her in a park, and I will eat her in a park”, etc. This my fave too, you know Dr. Seuss is from San Diego, he is a home-town hero here and I always read it to my students. In fact, I cook them breakfast every year with green food coloring in the eggs served with ham.

martijn said...

Hey man, first off your great writer as can be seen by your posts, but seriously bro step away from this path it's not for you ;-).
Along Mushrooms comment, there is a character in the series Andromeda who was purple and later gold and she was hot so who am I to complain.

Indeterminacy said...

Young: I think I heard that Dr. Seuss was from San Diego. Cool. I don't know if California is still considered the Shangri-Las of America, but when I was still around (until 1987) it was. I'll eat the scrambled eggs, as long as there's no ketchup on them.

Martijn: This is nothing. You should see what I did to Shakespeare. I hope I become immortal, because Dr. Seuss and Bill are probably up there right now waiting for me.

~River~ said...

Well, Indie, I do not agree with you at all. Truth be told, I quite enjoyed this little poetic excursion.

Tom & Icy said...

We like it. Maybe you could try rap?

Indeterminacy said...

River: I admit I had fun writing this - and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Maybe this could become a classic bedtime story that boys read to their girls (or vice versa).

Tom&Icy: Thanks for the paws up. I'm not sure about rap - I don't know the Gangsta lingo. Maybe Lula could help me. Would you settle for a scat revival?

the cloned corpse of marcus tal said...

You are obviously a master poet on a level with myself. I love your unique pentameter. Please come and sample my poetry. It is as experimental is your own.

Best Wishes

The CLoned Corpse of Marcus Tal

Indeterminacy said...

Marcus! I'm so sorry I missed your funeral, but I'm glad I could do something post-humously to make your day. I was just over to your blog - very intriguing poetry.

For the Living: I have to skip posting today - had too much else going on to think of stories.

Cori said...

I just had the best laugh I've had all week! That was really clever! ...and sassy!

First you tackle poetry..... next...
PERFORMANCE ART!!!!!

Please! Indie! Please! Start an artist commune and invite me to join!!!

Indeterminacy said...

Cori, I accept your proposition without hesitation. You're invited! But I'm wondering what your suggestion would have been had this been the best laugh you'd had all month ;-)