Monday, December 05, 2005


One night while enjoying the warmth of their campfire, Tim and Tony decided to go amphibian and take over the world of the mermaids they knew to thrive in the lagoon. To reign over such minions! To be masters over the realm of Aquarian pleasures! The multi-fathomed lagoon was fed on one side by a torrid waterfall whose long tongues suavely licked it into sublimity. Along crept the boys to the shore side of the pool. The half-human creatures huddled anxiously below the surface, considering their defense against the coming attack. Tony struck the water first. The mermaidens, experts in seduction, decorated him with droplets of lake dew, dissolving him into a girl. As Tim perceived the change an entirely new plan of conquest entered his mind.

Story #316

Note from Indeterminacy: I will be off of blogging until Wednesday evening, due to a two day class I'm holding at work. No time to concentrate on stories.

27 comments:

viruswitch said...

The 65 year old Kevin had finally discovered the secret of eternal youth. All his life he had struggled to find out where on earth the secret source of the water of immortality lied. Now after his 10 year-quest, he was finally drinking from it. The source was actually a blue lagoon in the middle of an enormous desert somewhere in the American continent. There was only one small passage, a long cave that led into a vast area surrounded by waterfalls. “Nature’s private swimming pool” he thought when he gazed at it for the first time. The water that sprung on the lake from the waterfalls created a peculiar kind of mist that made it difficult for Kevin to find his way into the lake. The place was not at all quiet and tranquil as he had expected, all those 108 waterfalls composed a melody loud enough to be heard in heaven. But as soon as his grey hair became brown again and his old body restored the vitality of his past youth, his ears perceived the songs of sirens, fairylike creatures that dwell in the source. They all surrounded him and caressed his hair talking and laughing in a language he had never heard before. His last worry before he entered completely the world of the immortals was whether the waters or the sirens where the true source of his final eternal youth.

Indeterminacy said...

This story was contributed by Susie Delp:

The high noon sun beat down upon Ben's slender torso, as he
contemplated whether or not to jump one last time. After an hour of
diving into the shimmering depths of the natural pool, he was tired,
although somewhat rejuvinated. To stay and jump again could mean
being late for work, but did he care? His dad tells him, "you're
only young once" but his dad is a surf bum. The last thing he ever
wanted to do was turn out like his old man.

Mom would be so mad at him if he messed up this new job, it had taken
awhile for her to talk Sam into hiring him, and he knew how much his
mom wanted him to get a car. Her job kept her away long hours, and
when she did get home, she was exhausted. She couldn't drive him
places anymore, and his friends were sick of giving him rides.

Bart popped up from the deep pool with a lopsided grin on his face.
Ben decided not to jump. It didn't bode well with Bart, who was
reckless and irresponsible. Ben didn't care. He never had cared
what other people thought of him, and he didn't plan on starting
now. He motioned for Bart to get out of the water, and headed back
to the cool shade of the nearby trees. Just this once, he would try
and do something right.

Indeterminacy said...

Sorry for not commenting on the stories yet. I still have mine to write!

david raphael israel said...

GREEN THE POOL WAS

Green tho pool was in those days
& I were but a lad
flowed the water wonderous ways
our afternoons grew glad

by the rills we'd wander idly
diving in the stream
none explained : yet thought we mildly
life's a kelly dream

who'd suppose nostalgia's net
would capture sun in shade?
half-remember half-forget
in memories I wade

gone are hills & done are rills
distant now those times
none to share the song that fills
my aching heart with rhymes

worlds appear & disappear
none explain the secret
kelly glade & lucent mere
charmingly discomfit

waterfalls & city-sprawls
humankind & nature
waking dreams of daffodils
evenings passed at leisure

long appeared the microscopic
reach of our then-future
now we grow indeed myopic
baffled by time's measure

when we settle into stillness
& the tale's done
kelly streams again befill us
gleaming in what sun?

Green the pool was -- green in seeming
quiet though my gaze
I the fool was -- foolish dreaming
through those liquid days

/ / / /

so: there's one take on it.

And thanks Indie for including me in your blog-roster.

cheers, d.i. [of Kirwani]

david raphael israel said...

p.s.: I've blogged the above, btw. d.i.

Jamie Dawn said...

"Paradise...
Waterfalls, fresh fruit, and no shirts allowed."
That's what the travel brochure advertised. Lance saved every penny to take this vacation. He would meet tons of ladies, and hopefully meet that special someone he'd been dreaming of. When he got there, he didn't see a single lady. He was surrounded by a bunch of guys who were in sore need of an Ab Flex. Lance wondered off by himself and found a secluded spot to swim. Then it hit him; the brochure was put out by a company called "Queen Trips," and it all made sense. There was plenty of "fresh fruit," just as advertised.

Indeterminacy said...

I love all your stories, and I think you did a lot better than I did. My story is light in comparison.

Viruswitch: There are so many interesting details in this. I think the fairy creatures have something to do with Kevin staying young. Doesn't love keep us young?

Susie: Great story about diving into life, or not diving. I took a close look at the photo after reading your story, and I think it really is a guy. I wonder if my story works anymore?

David: Wow! You came up with all the words I wish I would have used in my story, but didn't think of.

Jamie: Great story and ending! It really made me laugh. Guess you and Susie know a guy when you see one.

Indeterminacy said...

I couldn't resist rewriting my original story to correct the error in gender. ;-) I've posted it below the original story.

Enemy of the Republic said...

I don't have a story, but I so enjoy your blog, and these stories were particularly good. I hope work goes okay. Right now I'm not blogging because I'm too busy, but I still want to keep up with my buddies whenever I can!

Indeterminacy said...

Enemy: Thanks - I'm glad you like it here. Hope your workload is back to normal soon.

viruswitch said...

The second story is funnier that the first :)). I thought it might be a guy in the water but it didnt serve my imagination so I just ignored what I saw.

Jamie Dawn said...

Two stories from Indie for the price of one.

Doug said...

I know, JD. His cup's running over.

Indeterminacy said...

Viruswitch: I agree, the 2nd one works better. Also, I never heard of that sort of thing happening before, although I think it would work great as a Trojan myth.

Jamie: I hope no one want's their money back!

Doug: My cup is filled with sulfuric acid and it's burning my hand.

Doug said...

Try the other hand.

Indeterminacy said...

Doug: What an acidic statement!

mom on a wire said...

Hey- I saw your comments on the religious blog Machinery of Death It was the one about beating your children, scarring them emotionally, killing their dogs, etc... Remember? I thought you would be interested to know that the ENTIRE post has been changed to comething completely different. It is BIZARRE. The guy is a total psycho methinks.

Indeterminacy said...

I've decided to relegate my original story to the comments section, and make the second version the official #316. The first version wasn't good enough:

One night while enjoying the warm caress of the campfire, Tim and Tina decided to go amphibian and take over the world of the mermen and maids they knew to thrive in the lagoon. To be king and queen over such minions! To be master and mistress over the realm of Aquarian pleasures! The multi-fathomed depths were fed by a torrid waterfall whose long tongues suavely licked the lagoon. The mer-creatures huddled anxiously below the surface, considering their defense. Tina in bikini struck the water first. The mermaidens, experts in seduction, decorated her with droplets of lake dew, and arranged her strands of wet hair and thin bikini-nylon to hug her perfectly. The sight of Tina resurfacing caused Tim to consider a slight change in plan. Instead of conquering the underwater world, he would try with a few teasing splashes and a kiss to conquer Tina.

david raphael israel said...

Indie --
I don't particularly recall gender-changing mythologies among the Greeks (which could be a tad surprising, since they were so fluent with species- -- or rather genus-changing tales).

This passingly reminds me of a story I lately heard while in India, though, concerning the Hajras [eunuch-transvestites, if this hyphenated translation isn't amiss]. Tale concerns Rama, Godman hero of the Ramaayana epic, who -- as a central plot point in the saga -- though a prince and the heir-apparent to the royal throne of Ayodhya, had been (through machinations beyond scope of this comment) banished for 14 years of wandering in the Dandaka Forest. Not wanting to part with him, his entire citystate populace at first followed him into the forest; but the deal was, he had work to do there -- he was just going with his wife and brother to fulfill his obligation of forest-life. He addressed the crowd, "O Men and Women of Ayodhya! Please go home! I'll catch you'all later!" (or words to that effect).
Fourteen years later, as he was returning from the southlands (flying in an airplane btw -- the legendary Pushpaka), he noted still in the forest a band of Hajras, who'd been camped out there all those years.
"What's up about this?" inquired Lord Raama.
"Well, you said Men and Women, so ..." replied a Hajra.
The kicker (perhaps the whole episode can be deemed apocryphal; indeed it's doubtful to have made it into the texts of Kamban or Tulsidas, let alone Valmimi who I suspect wouldn't touch it w/ a 10-meter pole) is that Raama is then said to have remarked (as a kind of benediction for their devotion &c.) -- "Ah, I see. Well in this case, when the Kaliyug arrives [the great/dread Dark Age -- in general thinking, identified as our own era], you'all will rule."

Whether the tale is traditional, apocryphal, slanderous, or simply a mild joke, I'll leave it for more serious scholars to determine.

This anecdote anyway had been translated for me on the fly (from Hindi to English) by a smart bloke from Seattle.

weirsdo said...

I loved DRI's poem! Reminded me of A. E. Housman.

princessdominique said...

Inde happy holidays. I miss your blog. I don't get to go around as much as I'd like to. Hope things are well with you.

Indeterminacy said...

David: Thank you so much for sharing this story you heard. I've been wondering myself now why such a simple theme doesn't occur more often, or maybe it does, and it's just not talked about.

Weirsdo: I wish I knew more about modern poetry to concur, but all I can say is that David's poem was brilliant.

Princess: Thank you very much. I hope to be blogging again soon. It's nice to hear from you from time to time.

Everyone: I held a two day training at work, and now I'm struggling with some deadlines - meaning I havent been able to concentrate on stories. I feel really bad about the irregular posting lately, but don't really know what to do about it, and still maintain my standard of quality.

DLAK said...

Once upon a time a small dog farted. The cat, disgusted, stuck his tail in the air and walked away shaking his head. As he walked away he loked over his shoulder and said "Fucking dogs".

Badoozie said...

This was quite fun, i'm looking forward to the next one, and i'm laughing about the gender mix up.

Euian said...

I read the story and got somewhat confused. Maybe I imagine the wrong things. It's just a small part of the story, rigth?

Indeterminacy said...

I think sometimes my stories are so compact that they become dense and hard to understand. I'll just have to hope the next one turns out better.

remo said...

Ya!
I think you all enjoy very much and hope for the next one.Thanks !