Thursday, September 22, 2005


Bad breakups, sudden inexplicable psychoses, menstruation. One out of ten men have extreme difficulty coping with these phenomena of the female gender. They are gripped by a sudden debilitating condition known as femiphobia. To them a day at the beach sunning among bikinied beauties with bare skin and semi-exposed breasts is worse than a nightmare of pursuit by knife-wielding nurses at a castration clinic. What can you do to help? If you're a girl: walk up to him, softly caress his cheek, take his hand, wrap your arms around him, search for his lips with yours and plant a gentle kiss on them. After a few repetitions the fear will have magically vanished. If you're a guy: walk up to him, softly caress his cheek, and so on. After a few repetitions there will be no more fears...

Story #283

17 comments:

rusty said...

You really think so ?!!

weirsdo said...

Good one, Indie. Very funny photo, too.
I have a new site I'm linking this to.

Indeterminacy said...

Rust: To be honest, I don't know. But how many of us have really had the experience?

Mrs. Weirsdo: What? Another new site? I already linked to one new site of yours this week! Glad you liked the story.

Doug said...

My first response to your second sentence was "so now 90% of us are gay?"

Indeterminacy said...

Doug: The question is: What was your second response to the first sentence!

LiVEwiRe said...

Hmmm. I had a girl just lean over and kiss me as I was walking through a bar. I will say that it shook every other thought from my head at the time... even the grumpy crabby ones. You may be onto something here. Can I say that you've given me permission to go out and kiss all the guys? Please? =)

Indeterminacy said...

Livewire: Go for it! But give me about five hours head start to get to where you are ;-)

fluff said...

ROTFL!!!

the more I look at that photo, the more I love it, it has a dozen stories to tell, and the one you put in words is hilarious. and also teach us to be helpful in any situation!

fluff said...

PS. however, that pic is breaking my heart. they are sitting on the sun and crying, oh my...

dddragon said...

Now, see, when I saw that pic the first thing that popped into my head was an old commercial line: "Does she or doesn't she? Only her hairdresser knows for sure."

A Little Bar of Soap said...

*faints*

Indeterminacy said...

Little Bar! I warned you not to read today's story. Buit I am glad I inspired you to say something besides, "Devil, get thee out!" I promise not to take any liberties while you're fainted.

actonbell said...

Bravo! Great one, Indie, perfect:)

The Mushroom said...

In which case, I'll see what's in Little Bar's pockets. [rummaging] Two pennies, John Birch membership card, used fruit-flavored condom, multicolored lint, cocktail napkin with a phone number, one linty cherry Sucret, Cross In My Pocket card, half a shoestring.

Thanks for the story, Indie...
You don't have to live with Femiphobia. Call the number below, visit www.femiphobia.com, or see your doctor for more information.

AP3 said...

Fun story and picture.

I think the fellow in the picture needs a t-shirt that says, "Sorry, girls, I'm gay!"

shtikl said...

the world needs more love for sure!!! Indie, you are a prophet.

The Mushroom said...

AP3 The shirt in question says: "Let's get one thing straight -- I'm not."