Thursday, December 16, 2004

Better watch out. I'm Kung Fu baby. Those pre-natal martial arts classes sure paid off. Must have been quite a sight, all those soon to be mamas watching Bruce Lee movies, bulbous bellies packed into that cramped theater like sturgeon in a caviar kitchen. Yup, I came out kicking. I'm sorry about the doctor. He was just doing his job, slapping me on the bottom like that. Glad they could fix his neck in the other ward. I'm not sorry about Aunt Mildred. The way she kept kissing me, she deserved what she got. Use your opponent's weight against 'em. That's what I always say. Next time don't put my crib so close to the stairs. And you warn people not to laugh at those little teddy bear footprints on my black belt. That would be a BIG mistake. Mama? Could you put me up to the piano? That one film at the classes had some great fight scenes choreographed to Mozart. I want to try something.

Story #110


The Mushroom said...

Baby Bog, the spokesbaby, got his own CBS show -- rediculous as it was. Ally McBeal had a dancing baby -- even if it was computer generated.

Where's my gawddamn TV show?! Yo! Producers! Here I am! "Kung Fu Baby" at your service. Line forms at my left.

M.P. said...

Are the babies going to be born with knowledge of various kinds??? This is a Kung Fu baby .. but the others can be already skilled in something else! God! This science advance!! ;)

Indeterminacy said...

Hi M.P.! I'm sure that some day soon babies will start blogging from the womb. I'd heard of all these pregnancy classes in the 90's where they'd place speakers on the woman's body and play Mozart for the unborn baby to listen to. It's supposed to raise intelligence, but it doesn't answer the question of what Mozart's mother did.