There Chuck was, surfing at work again, when a random blog caught his eye: "Life got you down? Aggravated by the high price of cheese? Want to get away from the rat race?" the post summed up the seemingly insoluble dilemmas of his modern life, then suggested a solution: "Be a mouse!" His finger lingered on the computer's navigational device, ready to click the page away, but he read on instead. "Enjoy one entire week in rustic splendor, all you can eat buffets, exercise studio, guaranteed friendly caregivers and cat-free environment." That sounded good to Chuck who'd definitely had enough 60 hour weeks that year and rude nudges in the subway, so he clicked the Web button that beamed his consciousness through the Webcam and into the mouse, while his body went on deposit in an Internet stasis-loop. The calm of vanished responsibilities came down on him like a beach on a desert. And there he was, exploring the sawdust floor of his comfortable cage, racing in the wheel, climbing the tubes, rolling back down into the sawdust, gorging himself on cheese and peanuts. In the afternoon a nice little boy came to pet him and allowed him free roam of the playroom. Stepping around all those giant toys reminded him of the carefree days of his youth. That night during his workout on the running wheel he decided there was no reason to leave. So he nibbled his return voucher to shreds and lived happily ever after, or at least as long as little mice can live.
Story #375
Thanks to all who contributed! And a wow-I'm-stunned-and-flabbergasted thank you to BlogAdvance.com for choosing Indeterminacy as October's blog of the month. Blog Advance, in case you didn't know, is the friendlier traffic exchange service with an excellent sense of community. Check it out!
P.S. Aficionados of the golden age of radio will recognize the Escape influence in the opening line of the blog post. Read more about Escape at Broadcastellan.
11 comments:
Fuzmo was off to the rat-race, feeling like a gerbil on a wheel. It wasn't easy working as a Wal-Mart greeter, since he was sort of mousey in nature, but it kept him in alfalfa pellets and put a roof over his head. He woke up every day in his tissue-nest bed, lapped up some coffee, and reminded himself that life was still better than working a desk job in technical support. Just the mere thought of ever going back to telling people over the phone for the umpteenth time to reboot their computers made him squeak... he was like a rodent in a cage in his cubicle, and getting to his cubicle was like seeking cheese at the end of the maze. The only troubles he had now, as a greeter, were little kids (they made his eyes bug out sometimes) and getting onto the bus without making nervous people scream (he usually didn't have time to comb his hair before he ran out of the house). Today he wanted to be to work a little early, anticipating a rush on the electronics department for the DVD release of Stuart Little.
(Yes, Indie, that's a hamster. While seeing the critter's back end would make it more obvious, the tubes in the Habitrail behind it are too wide for a mouse or lab-rat.)
That crazy scientist opened my cage again. It smells like cheese around! I wonder what he is up to this time. He is always trying different potions on me, red, blue and green ones. Last time he made me see the Cheese God. I hope its a Cheese Godess this time because I dont want to turn into a mouse!
Hey Mush & Virus Witch: these were both charming stories and go together wonderfully. Thanks for sharing! I've already written my story and made it a mouse, so I guess truth will just have to suffer when I post it.
People, check out Mushroom's blog for some of his work experiences and you will understand that his story comes from the heart.
Someone commented on Lammy's blog that you looked like that President of Iran. Well, sort of in that profile pic.
Yeah, I think I look kind of evil in that photo. People can also get hypnotized into believing anything if they look at it too long.
Yeah sure I wanna be a lab rat. Scientists, they’re all manipulating sociopaths and congenital liars: I know this is a gross generalization as there might be a Scientist somewhere that is not a liar. That is another story. But I will not succumb to this human’s lies! Recently, I over heard that scientist with the short stubby legs tell his associate, “by adjusting and adapting the jeans of this lab mouse, it could lose weight and this little bugger could eat all he wants!” Right!!! I know his secret; I’ve seen the cage fights for food-It’s a free for all!!
Still, what to do! What to do!!! I am SO drawn to the things he does: He had my little friends on a Joe Pilates reformer that stretches you out and gets you in shape aerobically doing in circles. With others he’s had them on electrical impulses using electrodes- I know from their accounts they’ve experienced sexual pleasure without the hassle of relating to rodent women. Just think of it- population reduction and a lessened impact on the environment. How seductive is that?
Where is that bartender, I need a shot of Roquefort!!!
I like those other stories. I just have a stupid poem that reflects my current depressed and exhausted state of mind. It's a story that's sad but true.
I once had two mice
Which was rather nice
Until they began to fight
I didn't know that mice could be homicidal
And though it actually took a while
Butthead eventually bit Beavis
Enough times that he died
Mice like men
Fight to the death now and then
They'll never find peace
Till they embrace the art of Zen
And now this lame poem is through
I shall mercifully bid you adieu!
Miles to Go: That was a great film noir story or rat noir or something. Loved it!
Cheesemeister: Thanks for the poetic note. Yes, more mice should meditate and reach Nirvana. A rodent-infested Nirvana would bve so cool! Aren't bats something like mice?
Well, a bat is a Fleidermaus in German, so there is something to that thought!
For some reason, I find this picture rather amusing.
Keep up the great work!
Anita: Thanks for the feedback - I clicked into your site and thought you had a very entertaining selection of photos. I'll be back.
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