Monday, July 25, 2005


Harvey clicked the send button, dissolving his e-mail into a flux of electrical impulses that zapped through the hubs connecting the World Wide Web with God knows what. But he really wanted those love pills. Seconds later the doorbell rang.

"I'm the Spam Fairy," the girl at the door said, but she didn't smile and gaily wave her wand about like those fairys he'd seen in Disney movies. She looked at him with those big, consternated eyes of hers and waited for him to tell her what he wanted.

"Is something wrong?" Harvey asked her, sensing that this was his big chance, showing sympathy to a fairy, maybe even doing her a good deed. No telling how she might repay him. She might even be willing to grant some especially personal wishes.

Tears welled in her eyes, "It's so awful in our world," she cried, "Streets paved with college degrees, mortgage money raining from the skies, hailstorms of little blue pills." She leaned her head on his shoulder while her shoulders bobbed up and down accompanying her stifled sobs. "And the diet supplements, the cheap real estate everywhere..."

She looked up again and he saw the tears running down her cheeks, "And those pick-up bars filled with girls yearning for Christian dates. They're so shameless! We're working round the clock, sending e-mails trying to find someone to take all these abominations off our hands."

Harvey looked into her eyes and stated with all the sincerity he could muster, "I wish I could help you."

"Do you, really?" she asked him, eyes sparkling with magic. Harvey nodded. The Spam Fairy waved her wand. The next thing Harvey knew he was in a room filled with PCs, and at each PC was huddled some wretched person, moving a mouse and typing in e-mails with shaky fingers. A burly sumo wrestler with sweaty muscles and a whip strolled gaily about the room, randomly lashing the stooped figures. "Type faster! Get that spam out! Longer! Harder! All night long! You!" he bellowed grabbing Harvey by the arm and accelerating him into a hard, empty seat. "What do you think this is? Disneyland?!? Get to work!"

Story #254

Thanks for contributing your stories. They have been reposted at indeterminacies.blogspot.com.

11 comments:

The Mushroom said...

He had hoped and prayed upon a midnight star that one day she'd come, and then through fuzzy eyes she appeared to him... the Unreality Fairy materialized in his room, just as he'd envisioned her, wearing a black bra under a white camisole and holding her wand seductively between her parted lips. He knew what he wanted to wish for, and had known since he was eleven. He spoke his wish and with a wink that could make a stone golum bleed she leaned forward, wagged her wand once quickly, and as as quickly whisked back into the ether. His longstanding fantasy had been granted... his heart's deepest wish fulfilled, and he relaxed in his gratification.

How he was going to get that Jeep CJ7 out of his apartment would be another story.

Jamie Dawn said...

She dressed up each Saturday in her Wish Fairy costume and visited the Children's ward. The sick kids would tell her their secrets and desires. She always cheered them up.
She rounded the corner on her way out, and there he was. It was a private room, but the door was wide open. Orlando Bloom was lying there asleep, or unconscious, she couldn't tell which.
Suddenly, gently, he opened his eyes and smiled at her. It was love at first sight for both of them.
"Wake up, Linda!" her mom yelled.
"Time to get ready to visit the kids at the hospital."

Cyanotica said...

Whatever she had done to deserve the latest woeful chain of events she was sorry, she thought as she touched the magic wand to her lips. The aroma of mothballs and cotton candy wafted up to her nostrils, as she contemplated the happier occasions on which this part of her childhood Halloween costume was used. That seemed like another person's life now, totally removed from the sadness and desparation she was currently experiencing.

They found her mother hanging from a basement rafter, blue and lifeless, eyes fixed on blank eternity. The RA of her dorm had knocked on her door with the news at 3:00am, and somewhere in the pit of her stomach, before her schoolmate could even open her mouth, she knew. After all, good news never comes at that hour, and Mom had been sick for a while now. Ironically, the psychiatrist had recently assured her and her dad that the increased dosage of anti-depressents would be enough to mitigate the effects of a particularly difficult menopause, but all that meant nothing now. For as long as she could remember, she had seen the glint of pain and terminality in her mother's eyes, and for that reason, she distanced herself from the one person who probably understood her best.

Outside, she heard the rumble of the moving van pulling up in the driveway, and knew that soon, a very long road was about to end, and a very lonely one was about to begin.

alix said...

oh, now i'm too sad.
inde, i just dropped by to say hello...been MIA over here...

Indeterminacy said...

Mush: Cool story. It reminds me of an idea I had for a short story. In Germany you have to pay to have your old car taken to the scrap heap. It would be a story of several friends celebrating the new patio one of them had just built. They'd get on the subject of old cars and how to get rid of them. One of them will have dismantled his entire car and threw away a piece a day in some public trash can. Another had it cleaverly stolen. The punch line would be the friend whose patio they were celebrating. He just buried it in the backyard and built a patio on top of it. (I know. Really stupid. That's why I haven't written it yet.)

Jamie: I think it's a nice story, except I don't know who Orlando Bloom is. Fringe benefits of living in Europe and avoiding what little television makes it over here.

Cyanotica: It's so hard to hit a note of sadness and tragedy but you did it well with this story. "eyes fixed on blank eternity" That's an amazing expression.

Indeterminacy said...

Alix: Don't worry. We both know where we are. I've been stopping by but have been shy about commenting.

Indeterminacy said...

OK, major embarassment time: my muse tells me Orlando Bloom played the elf in LOTR. So I do know who you're talking about, Jamie! Now the story is even nicer.

princessdominique said...

I'm back and I love your latest. Keep up the fabulous work Inde!

Tina D. said...

Good job, indie - dont leave us ever again.

Indeterminacy said...

That makes my day, when the Princess of Letters and the Princess of Comedy both like my story. What would the world be without all those lovely Princesses?

fluff said...

oh my, this is what happens when someone takes our "I wish I could help you" seriously...